How can you help?

I am "taking over" the Blog for my husband, Bryan. He no longer has access to internet, computers and "smart phones". So in order to keep our friends and family informed, I will be posting blogs on our behalf.

Yesterday was the Plea Hearing in Madison, WI and we watched God perform yet another miracle! Where there seemed no hope of "freedom" for Bryan once the judge accepted the plea agreement, at the last second, the judge started outlining the requirements of his release! While the release carries with it some very strict restrictions on our lives, we Praise God for providing a way to be together for another 60 days!

Looking ahead, we have another Big Day when I have to appear before a judge for my final sentence. It is at this hearing the judge will determine what an appropriate sentence for my crime is. The range for my crime is 5-20 years of incarceration at a Federal prison. With the plea bargain I have agreed to, it looks like the sentence will land around 10 years.

However, the Judge has a lot of power at this sentencing hearing. He can decide to do something different than what the DA has recommended. This means it could go up, or it could go down. My attorney wants to influence the judge to make this sentence lower than 10 years. Call me selfish but I am in agreement with him!

One tool my attorney would like to use is character references from people who know me, grew up with me, spent time in recovery with me, worship with me, and live in my community. There is no limit to the number of character references that can be submitted. In fact, the more there are will speak to the judge that there are enough people who care about me and are willing to write on my behalf.

If you would like to be one of these people, we would love your support. Here is how it works.

• Send your complete mailing address (postal address) to us via mayberrywi@gmail.com.
• We will add you to the list for our attorney and send the list directly to him.
• Our attorney, Bruce Rosen, will then send you a letter with instructions.
• Write the letter from your heart.
• Send the letter back directly to our attorney, Bruce, and he will collect them for the sentencing.
• Our attorney will present these character letters to the judge for the sentencing hearing.

Frequently answered questions:

• These letters do not require you attend the sentencing hearing. However, you are welcome to come to the hearing if you are able.
• The letter does not have to be long and full of detail history.

• Tell the truth about my character. If you only knew me for a short time, then focus on that time period.
• These letters are not going to be published.

Win / Win

This past week has been a blur for us.  We have celebrated wedding anniversaries with our kids, played ball with the grand kids, worked on projects, and met with friends and family.   We did not get all the projects done and that is OK.  The important stuff is done.  We really enjoyed spending time with friends and family.  Many of you made a long trip to come and see us.  We talked, laughed, cried and prayed together. We are blessed to have so many people who love us and are willing to make this trip!  To all of you who stopped by this week, Thank you!

We are now getting close to the court date.  As of time of writing this it is 1 day 39 hours 2370 minutes until the hearing.  The common question we are asked is “How are you doing?”  The automatic response to this question is “We are doing well.”   How should you be doing when you are facing your first ever Federal Court Appearance for a humiliating and embarrassing crime?  How should I be doing when I am facing incarceration in the county jail system while waiting for the formal sentence hearing?  How should I feel when I am about to be separated from my wife and family for the next 10 years?

The truth is, we are doing really well!  I know this may sound strange to say but it is true.  As we hung out with everyone these past two weeks, we talked and processed what is taking place on Tuesday.  Through these conversations, we talked about how much God has been working in our lives since this started over 16 months ago.  We have seen God work in our lives and lives of people around us.  He has done some amazing things!  The best part is that God is not done!  He has more in store for us.  We need to be obedient to what He calls us to do.

We are praying that God will bless the motion to allow my release on Tuesday.  We believe that God has work for us to do for Him this fall while we wait for sentencing.  However, if the motion is not granted and I must go to the Dane County Jail, then I know that God has a plan to use me while I am there.  Either way, we win. Knowing this brings us great peace!  We want God’s will to be done. 

Perhaps this is an unusual position to take when facing a prison sentence.  None the less, I believe it is the right one.  God will be with both of us while together or separated.  He has a plan for each of us and we are confident that He will be with us no matter what! This is a promise we have from His word.  We will continue to pray for a release over the next couple of months as this is our hearts desire. 

We want to thank everyone for the prayers you have made on our behalf.  We are overwhelmed by the love you have shown us with your support and encouragement.  We know we are not walking this road alone.

Thank you all for your love and encouragement!

Bryan McFreedom

Time Change for Hearing

Dear family and friends,

Many of you have shared with us that you are planning to attend this hearing on my behalf or your going to make an attempt to attend.  I want to tell you how humbled and honored I am that you would do this for me.  My heart is filled with warmth by your generosity in time and expense to do this for me!

I need to tell that there is a minor time change for the hearing.  It was scheduled for 1:00pm but it has changed to 12:30pm on the same day.  There was a scheduling conflict for the prosecuter.

I need to make sure you know this is a place for adults only.  If you had planned to bring a minor, please do not bring them into the court room.  The judge will not be happy with that.

The federal building is not a classic stone building as one might expect.  This is a big steel blue building.  Below is a picture.  I hope the snow has melted by now. There are metal detectors at the entrance so be prepared.  There is a parking ramp on the same block which kiddy corner from this entrance.  

Jeannie and I are driving down early that morning to have a meeting with my attorney.  Our hope is that we will drive home together as well.  If not, we have made arrangements with Jeannie's sisters to driver our car and her home. 

My attorney has filed a motion for my release.  One of the requirements for my release is that I will need to find new and temporary employment.  If you know of anyone that needs a guy short term for any work, please let me know as I have to be prepared to meet this contingency.

We maintain hope that our God will deliver yet another miracle to allow my temporary release!  

Thank you all for your prayers, words of encouragement.  These give us strength beyond what you know!

In the arms of Jesus;

Bryan McFreedom

Federal Court House in Madison 

United States District Court

120 N.Henry Street,

Madison, WI 53703

Telephone: (608) 264-5156

1 Church 3 Buildings

Today we had a great day!  No projects, No Chores. Just worship.  We had the privilege to attend 3 different churches today.  Yes you heard me, 3 churches.   There was a time in my life that I would have said no way to such an idea.  Not now.  I know that I am heading for a life of NO privilege. I will not have the opportunity to be in churches where women and men sing together.  I will not get to see the cool lights, stage setups, full bands, and sub woofers when I am incarcerated.  I expect to find church services but I expect them to be very limited.  That is OK, as I can worship God with my voice, words and in my heart and anywhere!

There are 3 churches that mean so much to us; Faith Fellowship Church, North Ridge Church and ValleyBrook Church.  At each church I was surrounded by people who love us and stand by us on this journey. It was wonderful to share in worshiping our God at each church today.  They are so alive and full of people who are seeking God. We are blessed to have these 3 faith communities.

These churches have had such an impact in our lives and mean so much to us!  Each has something different to offer that have deeply impacted and shaped our lives.  All of them have one focus; to reach people for Jesus!  Is one more right than the other? Is one better than the other?  No!  Each church has a different personality and a little different style.  There are things that we like about each one of them. The way I see it is that as a Christ Follower, I am part of the church of Jesus Christ.  He is the head of the church.  We have buildings where we gather to worship him but these are simply different campuses of the same church.  Each campus has a community of Christ Followers that love and support each other.

We call NRC our church home.  This is where God has called us to be.  We are a part of a small group community that has been so supportive over the past year.  Our discussions are often deep and challenge us.  Our prayer time is filled with big requests and bigger and answers from God!  It is a rich time with earnest and heartfelt prayer.  

It is here at NRC that we were able to find healing from my sin. There are many people here who came along side of us and are walking with us. They accepted us and let me tell my story without rejecting me. The messages from the pastor seemed to be coordinated along with the study we had in PURE 83 miles away.  This could only be led by the Holy Spirit. The Pastors here have a strong vision of bringing awareness and recovery from addiction to pornography.  They brought in a guest speaker from California to host the first ever “Porn Weekend” event in Marshfield.  Then they allowed me and a member of FFC to lead a group of men through the same study of PURE that I went through at VBC.  This was a RADICAL move but it changed many lives! Yet it was a combined effort of all 3 churches working together to make this happen!

Our kids and grand kids attend FFC and we have been attending there for a long time.  People at this church have seen me at my worst. This is back when God was trying to reach me but I was too full of pride to listen.  Unfortunately they saw me living out my old self created identity; the one where I was in control and tried to run my life and a few others.  That did not go well for me. I thank God for the Grace they have shown me and the reconciliation we have through forgiveness!  The pastors here are full of grace and have walked with me through finding forgiveness of those who I had wronged. It was painful but rewarding!  Reconciliation is a wonderful gift from God! I thank God for how they walked with me through this process!!

Today, we were able to witness the first service in their new building.  God has blessed them with a wonderful church building.  I watch as my son played his guitar with the worship team.  I am so proud to watch him praise God with his talent.  I was able to sit next him and his beautiful wife.  I watched as my grand children ran to hug me after the service.  People gathered around and offered encouragement love and prayers for us as we walk down this road.  It was great to be there today. 

VBC is a church that God has used in such a big way in my life!  This is a church that offered the PURE ministry that God led me to last summer.  This is a ministry that reaches out to men with addictions to pornography and sexual addiction.  This is exactly what I needed!  Despite the 163 round trip miles it was worth every mile!  I have not kept track of every trip but I estimate I have made about 30 trips to this church in the past year. That is almost 5,000 miles.  At 1.5 hours each way that is about 90 hours of drive time which were mostly spent listening to podcasts, audio books, worship songs and meditation. 

I have built some strong friendships with people there who share the same addictions including the pastor who leads this group. He has become a mentor, teacher and a wonderful friend!  He is a Freedom Fighter! Through this ministry, I have come to understand the story of my life.  I have learned who I am in Christ and what it means to have a new identity. In fact, I have found my new name that identifies my new life in Christ; Bryan McFreedom.   I praise God for this church and the ministry they have!  Every time I go to this church for our group meetings or church services, my heart is overwhelmed with love.

All of the people in each of these churches have played a strong part in my life! We will always stay connected to all of these churches as we have made such strong friendships in all of these churches!  These are friendships that will last a lifetime and long into eternity.  I thank God for each and every one of them! Now do you see how God brought these 3 churches together to make an impact in my life? God is so amazing!  I consider myself to be a member of each one of these churches.

In my new identity in Christ;

Bryan McFreedom

What would you do if you had 9 days left of freedom?

It sounds really dorky but we are trying to fix up the bathroom that needed repair.  We have a really nice Christian couple that want to rent our upstairs part of the house when I am away on my missions trip. I know that it will not be finished in a week but we will have a good start.  We did not plan to a complete gut of the walls but there were just too many problems so it had to be done.  Am I the only one who has projects that keep growing in size?  Time to clean up and get some dinner. 

We are really looking forward to church tomorrow!

God bless and thank you for your prayers!!!

McFreedom

Our "Plan B" may be God's "Plan A"

One of the things that Bryan and I have been learning on this 'journey' is that trying to plan for the future using our own common sense often doesn't align with what God's Plan is. Let me give you an example:

In April 2011, we decided that we needed to sell our Rental Property in the cities. We had a double vacancy which meant NO INCOME and the renter that had recently vacated left the place badly in need of repair and intense cleaning. We decided to take time off work and tackle the numerous projects with fervor! The day before we were to tackle this project, our dog broke my leg just above my knee!! I was wheel-chair bound for 6 weeks! Helpless!! You would think we would have felt defeated. After all, this was just 18 days after my husband had been served a search warrant for Child Pornography charges and now, I was incapacitated and our rental property sat empty and Bryan could not leave me because I couldn't do ANYTHING for myself.

But through that experience our Plan B was to sit and wait on the Lord to provide the answer. The answer (God's Plan A) was that Bryan and I spent 6 weeks focused on God's Word and prayer and building our relationship to what God had originally planned it to be. When I had healed enough that I could be left alone for a little while, Bryan gradually started working on the rental home and enlisted his brother (Thank you Bill!) to do a lot of the work. Once I could get around better, we traveled most weekends to the cities to complete the work and get it listed for sale. We found renters for both sides of the duplex by the time it was completely renovated and then....

God provided a buyer ... within a month after we listed it!

We are now going through the Plan A vs. Plan B choices in the legal case that is quickly going to be presented in court. We just chuckle when we realize that no matter what we think, God's Plan A will be "just right".

Jeannie

How are we doing???

This week started out very rough for us.  When we got a note from our attorney preparing us that we are going to be separated in 14 days, we were devastated!  It’s not like we don’t realize this is going to happen.  What made this such a shock is that we were told that the need for immediate incarceration was not likely.  Our countdown changed from 90 days to 14 days of freedom.  We have had a few days to spend time mourning this together.  Yes, I am not afraid to tell you that I cried a lot.  In fact, this past year, we have spent more money on tissue than ever before. 

We are doing better now.  Our priorities have changed.  Yes there are projects that need to get done.  But they can wait for now.  I have to write notes on how this old house works.  You know, things like; which hinges need oiling, where to kick the furnace when it thumps, and what to do when the internet stops working.    When your days are numbered, it is time to do what is important; Pray, spend time with loved ones, and make memories that will last a long time. We are simply celebrating life!

Our attorney is working on my behalf to convince the court to let me remain free until I am sentenced.  He is much like Perry Mason with less drama.  If he is able to convince them, I will have an extra 60 days or so of freedom and I will get to celebrate my 50^th birthday as a free man.  If not, you can send me a cake with a file baked inside. 

We have really appreciated the prayers you have offered us!  We know God is a part of this journey.  Every day Jeannie and I talk about the things that God has been doing in our lives.  Some are small and some are big!  We know that there is nothing to worry about or fear.  God knows what we are going through and he is right here with us.  Even when we are separated, He will be with us!  I am comforted to know that we live in a community where people will look after my wife and help her when it is needed.  I know that God has a plan for me when I leave for my mission’s trip.  There are men who need to learn about Jesus.  I want to be faithful and be the one to tell them.

Yes this is a difficult time. We want to manage our time well.  Please don’t worry about leaving us alone.  We appreciate your e-mails, facebook, and phone calls of encouragement.  This has helped to encourage us. 

Thank you for your prayers, love, and support!

God Bless you

Bryan  & Jeannie

The Big Day and a little hope – Pre sentence Hearing

Hi everyone, I wanted to add a little detail about the next step in my legal case.  The Big Day is Tuesday August 28^th at 1pm.

I have already signed a plea agreement with the government which admits my guilt. In doing so, I was able to reduce my charges and sentence. This day is when the plea is entered into formal record.  This is also when my status changes from “charged” to “convicted”. 

The problem is that this crime that I am charged with carries what is called a “Mandatory report”, which means that I will be required to go to jail until I have my 2^nd Big Day in court for a sentencing hearing (date TBD).  So I will likely be sitting in the Dane county jail system for approximately 90 days until that sentencing hearing.  This is the bad news I received on Tuesday.

Here is the Hope:

In speaking with my attorney, Perry Mason, he is going to make an attempt to convince the judge that I am not a “risk” and that I should be allowed to remain free while I wait for my sentencing hearing.  To keep it brief, he is going to ask the judge to hold onto my plea and NOT enter it into record until the sentence hearing.  There is precedence that this is currently being done in other districts in the USA.  This is a long shot but as Mr. Mason told me, “I have nothing to lose”.

This is a glimmer of hope for us!  It is also an opportunity for God to perform a miracle that will allow the judge to be persuaded and allow me to remain free to spend the next couple of months at home with family and friends.  Perry also warned me to plan to report to jail on the 28^th in the event the judge is not willing.  So here is an opportunity to PRAY. 

This first hearing is in a courtroom in the federal building in Madison.  Perry has encouraged me to have immediate family and key people who have participated in my recovery to be present if possible.  The judge looks at the people in the room as evidence that I have not been rejected by those who are closest to me. 

I realize that this is a big request, but if you fall into the category of immediate family, PURE group community, Boomer community, Pastoral support, I invite you to come and witness this event.  I understand that will disrupt your schedule and cost you money to travel, but I have faith that God will do a miracle and you will be a witness to this to testify in your community.  I have put the details below for you in the event you are able to attend.

Please know this from my HEART; I will not feel bad or hurt if you cannot make it!  I am merely asking so that you know this could help.  There is no pressure or guilt if you cannot attend!  I would be remiss if I was not honest by asking you.  If you want to talk about it with us, please call us.  We would love to talk to you anyway!

Here is the website for the Federal Western District of Wisconsin:

http://www.wiwd.uscourts.gov/

This is the building address.  There is a parking ramp on the same block.

United States District Court

120 N. Henry Street, Room 320

Madison, WI 53703

Telephone: (608) 264-5156

This is the link to the docket for that day.  It will be listed in my name.

http://www.wiwd.uscourts.gov/court-calendar

Court session begins at 1:00pm Changed to 12:30pm

Here is the detail from the court Docket:

 USA V. ERBST, BRYAN - 12-cr-82-wmc

When - Tue, August 28, 1:00pm – 1:30pm  12:30pm- 1:00pm

Where - 250 - Plea Hrg

Description[ID:109337] Plea Hearing 12-cr-82-wmc USA V. ERBST, BRYAN in 250

When bad news comes - PRAY

Today was a difficult day for us.  We received a frustrating e-mail from my attorney that stated that it is highly likely that I will be required to report to jail on August 28^th after my hearing in Madison.

Yes this is devastating news for us.  We were led to believe that this was much less of a possibility but there was a “risk” that I could go to jail.  The tables have turned.  At the time of this posting, I have exactly 2 weeks to get ready to leave this community for a potential 10 year sentence.  If you knew you had two weeks of freedom left, what would you do?

Once again our priorities have changed.  I will be working on a bathroom remodel and little fix up projects that I need to get done around the house.  In addition to all of this, I will spend as much time with family and friends.  I heard it is hard to sleep in jail, so if I stay awake for the next two weeks, I should be ready for a nap.  I will be stocking up on 5 hour energy drinks.

We know that God is good! We have not given up hope that God can show up and do a miracle.  In fact, we are praying for just that!!  We covet your prayers for this request.

b&J

Retooling Communication

It has been awhile since I started this blog and I have not kept it up.  At first it was just an insider blog for those who knew my story.  That was back when I was worried about my employer finding out about the story.  They now know and there is nothing to keep secret.  So now I plan to keep this updated as a tool to share with everyone what is happening in our life.  I will start with some bullet points of where I am today.  I will likely enter some flashback posts that fill in some blanks of the past year.

·         Last week I had the first meeting with probation officer over the phone.  Went well because God was with us!

·         Last week I followed the advice of my attorney and told my employer what was going on.

·         My employer placed me on suspension WITH pay. I did not expect to get the pay!  I have not been asked to report to work at this time.  I praise God for this response from my employer!  I am now preparing my home for Jeannie in my absence.

·         I am waiting for a home visit from probation officer to asses my environment.

·         I am continuing with my recovery support community which includes; personal counseling, PURE @ ValleyBrook Church, PURE at NRC, This group whom you are a part of, the pastors of NRC and Faith Fellowship Church who continue to walk with me and encourage me!

·         August 28^th, - Pre-sentence hearing. – BIG DAY!!

·         Hearing will be in Madison

·         The plea will be entered into record.

·         My freedom will be addressed during this hearing. The options for the judge are:

o   Immediate incarceration until sentencing hearing

o   Released on bond

o   Released with home monitoring

·         After pre-sentence hearing, a probation officer will conduct an in-depth and comprehensive investigation in my life back to kindergarten.  This will be used for the judge at the time of sentencing.

·         60 days latter will be a sentence hearing where a judge will assign my penalty.

Here are our prayer requests:

o   That God will have mercy on me through the courts and allow me to be released on Bond while I wait for sentencing.

o   It is important to the courts that I remain employed.  No employment = incarceration (in their mind) Pray for continued employment either from this employer or from a generous employer here in our community.

o   That I will have more opportunity to share my story with others in our community in order to bring light to the darkness.  There are many more men that are dealing with sexual sin that need to find freedom!  I want to be able be an active part of the next PURE group that meets here in Marshfield.

o   That God will prepare the heart of the Judge who will eventually be sentencing me.  May he or she be compassionate beyond human explanation.