....I spent the afternoon exploring the barracks. I watched others to learn the unwritten rules and procedures. My cell-y was quick to teach me about the stand-up counts. This is a "sacred" routine that occurs at 4:00 p.m. and 9:30 p.m. on weekdays. We are required to be in our cubes and stand quietly next to our bunks while two guards walk down each hall and count us. This is their "inventory" routine and it is treated with the highest respect and reverence. If the guards numbers do not match, they perform a recount. If an inmate is caught not standing or talking, the guards will stop and yell at the man. If they give you a "write-up", you may get a vacation at "Camp SHU".
Going Outside:
The building that I am in now only houses the four barracks and offices for the staff who manages us. There is one office near the exterior door which is occupied by guards 24/7. There are two or three guards per floor. They do have cameras mounted through the barracks to help them monitor us.
At meal time, they call out on the loud speakers two barracks to line up. We stand in the hallways until they open the door. There is usually a stampede to march across the compound to the dining hall. The line is long and extends outside under the eaves of the building. It can be a long, cold wait on some days. Once inside there is a long stainless steel serving counter. On the other side of the counter are inmates who serve the food onto the trays. A guard stands at the end of the line to make sure there are no special requests being honored. The men serving the food are lifeless and mechanical. Nobody seems to take any pride in what they do. This is reinforced by the staff. There is another serving island where they put bins of lettuce and the drink dispenser. The dispenser has poorly mixed fruit drinks, which need to be diluted with water. There are more staff members congregating along this island, making it difficult to get around them.
There is not enough table space to seat 300 men. If you want to sit with friends you will be challenged, as the tables only seat four and it is rare to have more than two seats open at a time. This makes for opportunities to meet new people, but there isn't much time to talk as we are encouraged to eat quickly and get out. They serve a lot of carbs, the vegetables are boiled until any flavor is gone, and the main course can often be a mystery. None the less, I am thankful for what we have.
After dinner, one of the Christians I met took me on a tour of the compound. We started on the West end of the services building. The first office is the medical center. Next to that is the laundry room. Next to it is the barber shop and then the commissary (or store). On the other side of the cafeteria is another hallway with several offices. There is a law library, a small reading library, three classrooms for G.E.D. and other official classes. There is a Rec Room with three pool tables. In the back of the rec room are a couple of other small rooms for music and hobby crafts. Next to the rec room is a work-out room with spinning bikes, treadmills, and step machines. They also have a ping pong table and foosball table. This may sound like a large area but the rooms are small and crowded.
The building takes a turn here for the chapel services area. There are a couple of rooms that are used for different groups of beliefs. At the end of the hall is a two story square room which serves as the former chapel. The chapel is very industrial looking with no decorations that would make you think it was a church.
We walked outside and he showed me more of the compound. Behind the building is a frame of a wigwam, which they use as a sweat lodge for the Native Americans. There is a twelve-foot fence, complete with coils of razor wire that surrounds the compound. Outside the fence is a service road the guards drive to patrol the perimeter. In comparison to what I saw in Terror Hut, this facility is much more relaxed and not as intimidating. At one time, they did not have a fence around this property.
I was still feeling overwhelmed by this place. It was so much to take in. Despite feeling overwhelmed, I wanted to explore more so I decided to take a walk on the track. I noticed others on the track, so I assumed it was safe for me to be there too. It was a crisp night, but that didn't matter to me. I walked the track 3.5 times to make a mile. Although a mile walk is not very long, I found myself to be exhausted after the walk. My legs ached from using muscles that hadn't been used for 48 days in the SHU. I need to start with shorter daily walks, I think!
While I walked on the crunchy snow, I thanked God form my release from the SHU and my new found freedoms. The track is close to the perimeter fence, so I could see the terrain around me. The compound is on a small plateau surrounded by a steep ravine on either side. The ravines are heavily wooded. With the leaves off the trees, I can see some houses below. One of them has a dog that barks a lot, which is a nice sound to hear. Overall, this is a very nice place. Set in the hills of Eastern Ohio, there is a lot of freedom for a prison. I'm sure it won't take long before it feels small and constricting.
It is a very strange feeling to be put into prison at my age. To leave the freedoms of home and be confined to a small cell only to be moved into a crowded, less constrictive environment. It forces me to realize how good my life was on the outside. I think we forget how good it is to have these freedoms.
I see a parallel with our Faith in God. As Christians, we often get comfortable or complacent in our relationship with God. We learn to have a sense of entitlement. Meanwhile, we forget who God is and what He has done for us, until we have a crisis in our life. We have a wonderful privilege in our country with our religious freedom. However, I think we take this freedom for granted. How can our Faith grow if we are not challenged to prove our faith? I wonder what the Christians in North Korea, China or Russia think about the Christians here in America? Christians who are persecuted for their faith either grow stronger or leave the faith. There is no middle of the road for them. Revelation 3:16 says, "So, because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth."
I may have lost my physical freedom here in prison, but I am free on the inside and I am blessed to have my religious freedoms. It is my hope and prayer that I will not become lukewarm here. I want to be on fire for God. This is not normal for me, so I will need help from the Holy Spirit. I have a long way to go to meet this goal, but I will start where I am at this point. It is time to PROVE MY FAITH!!!
Greetings from McFreedom
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
Defining "Freedom" - Part 2
...The soldiers marched us into the building. The entry way looked nice, much like an office building. It was too nice for prisoners, so I concluded this must be used for the staff and visitors. I studied the room, knowing this is the same place those who visit will pass through. There was a new set of soldiers that received us. They seemed to be kinder and gentler than those I had previously met. They didn't appear to have an agenda of "showing their superiority". These new guards took off our hand cuffs and shackles. The transport soldiers completed their job and left. Our new guards didn't say much other than to offer a few commands of instruction. They patted us down for contraband and walked us past the metal detector used for the visitors and then outside the doors into the compound.
The sidewalk was clean of any snow, giving it a clear definition against the snow covered yard. The walkway led us to an intersection. To the left was a long building with men in green winter coats walking around it. It seemed so strange to see prisoners walking about freely. Ahead of us was a large field with a baseball back stop. Next to this was a set of soccer goal posts (minus the nets). There were two full size basketball courts that were partially shoveled. Men were out walking in the snow along the fence. There were no guards present, that I could see. There were no guard towers like the ones I saw at Terre Haute. These men "appeared" to be free.
My senses were in overload, trying to take in everything around me. The cold air in my lungs, the bright sun and white snow in my eyes, the "concept" of freedom while in confinement. My mind could not keep up with everything I was experiencing. I was in a state of unbelief. Thirty minutes ago, I was a High Security Risk, requiring handcuffs, shackles and a guard to escort me. Now, I am unchained and walking in the yard with only two guards escorting seven of us. Something must have happened to us when we entered this complex that suddenly made us less of a security threat.
We were instructed to turn right at the sidewalk intersection. Ahead of us was a two-story building in the shape of a wide "V". There was a row of windows on both stories and in the middle there was an over-sized "H" on the top and an equally large sized "G" on the lower level. We entered the front door and congregated in the entryway waiting for instructions from the guards. One guard called out a couple of names and took them up a flight of stairs to the "H" unit. The other guard took us through the next door and searched his list of names and our bunk assignments. While we waited, I could see that we were the objects of everyone's attention. We were being studied by all the inmates in our vicinity; after all, we were inside their barracks. I could see rows of cubicles that went on as far as I could see. The cube dividers were made out of cement blocks. The cement walls were only 5' 4" so you could see the top bunk of every cube. Many of these bunks were filled with men sleeping or reading. The guard struggled to understand our assignments so he took one of us at a time and led each to his new bunk assignment. I waited near the door looking like a lost puppy, while the guard sorted us out.
Finally he came back to me and guided me through the long hallway to another set of barracks. This one looked the same as the first one I had seen. He walked me all the way towards the end and stopped at the third from the end. No sooner had I stepped into the cube, than the guard was gone. I was now on my own.
I had a cell-y, but he was not there. The bottom bunk was made up so I knew the top bunk was to be mine. I proceeded to open the laundry bag which contained two sheets, two blankets, two rolls of toilet paper, shampoo, razor, and two towels. I tried to open the bag, but it was held shut with a heavy duty zip tie. I had nothing to cut it with, so I carried it down the hall to see if I could find someone who could help me out. I must have still had that "lost puppy" look, because an inmate stopped me and asked if I needed help. I explained my dilemma and he went to his cube and returned with a nail clipper. He clipped the zip tie off the bag and I thanked him before returning to my new home.
I made my bed and put the rest of my belongings in my 36" x 48" locker. As I organized the few items I had, an inmate came up to me and introduced himself to me. He handed me a pair of new shower shoes, a bar of soap (no rope!!) :-), soap dish, a "real" toothbrush and a toothbrush holder. I had read, before I came to prison, that I should beware of inmates who "offer" me gifts, as there may be "strings" attached to the gifts. I felt awkward with his presentation of the gifts, until he told me that these were compliments of the chapel. He reassured me that there were no expectations for me to pay for them. They were truly "gifts"!
God began to answer my prayers in an amazing way! My first introduction was a Christian with gifts from the chapel! I was beginning to feel better already. I talked to him for a while and told him that I was a Christian and that I wanted to know more about the chapel. He told me about the schedule, but I didn't remember any of it with the overload of information.
Not long after he left me, other men came up to me to welcome me and offer some tips to get acclimated to this new world. My new cell-y eventually came to the cell and introduced himself as "Book-em". This is what everyone calls him. He showed me around our 8' x 10' cube and told me about the rules here. He is a nice guy who has one year left of a ten year sentence for dealing drugs. He showed me the scars left from the five bullets his rival put in him. He was told that he should have died from the wounds. I suggested that God must have other plans for him. He agreed!
Our cube is very simple for an 8 x 10 area. There is a standard bunk bed with a ladder. The mattress is much better than the ones in the SHU. There is sufficient cushion in them to keep me comfortable. One end of the mattress has a bump which is the "pillow". I use a clean sweatshirt for my pillow. From the top I can look around and see every other top bunk in our barracks. There are six hooks on the walls to hang our clothes from. We have a mini-steel desk bolted to the wall. On either side of the desk are our storage lockers. We have a 3 x 3 window on the North wall. I can see the road that leads up the hill to the main part of the prison. To the left of the road is the edge of the wooded ravine that wraps around the facility. The road empty's into a parking lot for staff and visitors. On visiting days, I can watch the visitors drive in and congregate at the gate as they wait for the guards inside to open the gate for them. Our window is very popular with the other inmates who don't have a window.
In the snow outside my window are a series of rabbit tracks that lead to a hole in the snow. He lives in a culvert and can be seen on occasion.
There are 64 cubes in our unit. Most have two men, but there are 22 of them with a third man. There are no doors on our cubes, so privacy is lacking. I was ready to learn more about my surroundings, but I was unsure about my freedom. For the last 48 days, I was not allowed outside my cell without handcuffs and an escort. And now, here I was with no guard in sight, men moving around freely, but I was afraid to leave my cube!!
It wasn't until another man came by to introduce himself that I ventured out of the cube. He took me on a tour of the unit. My cube is on the far end away from the activities that take place on the other end. I am grateful to be so far away from the noise! We walked to the other end of my "street" and entered a large room with tables and chairs. There are five televisions mounted throughout the room, but there is no sound coming from any of them. Anyone watching the TV's used an FM radio tuned to the TV channel of choice. Just outside of this room is a set of four telephones for us to use. Just past the phones are two more rooms with a TV in each of them. Instead of tables and chairs, they have small bleachers that were assembled in the rooms. These two rooms are "owned" by an ethnic group who is quick to tell you that you are not welcome in there. I went in these rooms to clean, as my job assignment, but I was told by one of the members to get out! They are now responsible to clean their own room.
We turned down another hallway past some bulletin boards with out-dated schedules and semi-helpful information. Next to this wealth of information is a recessed counter-top with four computer terminals. We use these to manage our finances (prison fund), mailing contact list/labels, our "P"tunes (prison tunes for MP3 Players purchased in the commissary). They do offer e-mail to some inmates, but for those whose crimes involved a computer, the computer access is restricted. We turned past the computers down a short hallway and entered a room that has a very large ice-maker. This is free to the inmates, which is a nice luxury! Next to the ice machine is a faucet that dispenses hot water. They call it the "190" because the temperature is at 190 degrees! I can now have HOT coffee, instead of lukewarm coffee. The room at the end of this hall is the laundry room. There are three top-load commercial washers and dryers. These are free to use, but there is usually a waiting line.
Heading out of this hallway back toward the computer desks, there are two more TV rooms with a TV and bleachers. One of them plays the Spanish channel and the other one has welcomed me when I clean it. Further down this hallway is the Bathroom/Shower room. It is divided up into a sink room with 11 sinks. Another room with urinals and stalls that have doors on them! It is nice to finally have some privacy instead of having a cell-y three feet from you when doing your "business". Ironically, there is usually an inmate on either side of me just inches away. Just having the wall between us is enough to give a sense of privacy. The toilets are not like the "shred-master 9000" in the SHU. These are good old fashioned porcelain toilets that you would find in a commercial building. The only difference is that we have to pull the handle to flush!!! :-)
The shower room is very nice. There are twelve private stalls. Each stall has room to move around so you can comfortably change your clothes. There is no temperature adjustment but the temperature is pretty comfortable and consistent. The shower room also serves as a work-out room for the body builders here. They usually post a "look-out" at the door when the work-outs are in session. This room is also the occasional smoking room for inmates. (Yes, you can get almost anything here if you have money and you are willing to take the risk of moving to a higher security prison.) Before I arrived in the unit, one of the inmates was caught with a cell phone in his cube. He is no longer here.
We took a left out of the bathroom and walked back toward my cube ending the tour of the barracks. Keep in mind there are three other identical barracks in this building, housing a total of 600 men. My new world seems so big, it is over-whelming to me. The "freedom" is so refreshing, but it is also very intimidating.
Stay tuned for the rest of this entry.....
McFreedom
The sidewalk was clean of any snow, giving it a clear definition against the snow covered yard. The walkway led us to an intersection. To the left was a long building with men in green winter coats walking around it. It seemed so strange to see prisoners walking about freely. Ahead of us was a large field with a baseball back stop. Next to this was a set of soccer goal posts (minus the nets). There were two full size basketball courts that were partially shoveled. Men were out walking in the snow along the fence. There were no guards present, that I could see. There were no guard towers like the ones I saw at Terre Haute. These men "appeared" to be free.
My senses were in overload, trying to take in everything around me. The cold air in my lungs, the bright sun and white snow in my eyes, the "concept" of freedom while in confinement. My mind could not keep up with everything I was experiencing. I was in a state of unbelief. Thirty minutes ago, I was a High Security Risk, requiring handcuffs, shackles and a guard to escort me. Now, I am unchained and walking in the yard with only two guards escorting seven of us. Something must have happened to us when we entered this complex that suddenly made us less of a security threat.
We were instructed to turn right at the sidewalk intersection. Ahead of us was a two-story building in the shape of a wide "V". There was a row of windows on both stories and in the middle there was an over-sized "H" on the top and an equally large sized "G" on the lower level. We entered the front door and congregated in the entryway waiting for instructions from the guards. One guard called out a couple of names and took them up a flight of stairs to the "H" unit. The other guard took us through the next door and searched his list of names and our bunk assignments. While we waited, I could see that we were the objects of everyone's attention. We were being studied by all the inmates in our vicinity; after all, we were inside their barracks. I could see rows of cubicles that went on as far as I could see. The cube dividers were made out of cement blocks. The cement walls were only 5' 4" so you could see the top bunk of every cube. Many of these bunks were filled with men sleeping or reading. The guard struggled to understand our assignments so he took one of us at a time and led each to his new bunk assignment. I waited near the door looking like a lost puppy, while the guard sorted us out.
Finally he came back to me and guided me through the long hallway to another set of barracks. This one looked the same as the first one I had seen. He walked me all the way towards the end and stopped at the third from the end. No sooner had I stepped into the cube, than the guard was gone. I was now on my own.
I had a cell-y, but he was not there. The bottom bunk was made up so I knew the top bunk was to be mine. I proceeded to open the laundry bag which contained two sheets, two blankets, two rolls of toilet paper, shampoo, razor, and two towels. I tried to open the bag, but it was held shut with a heavy duty zip tie. I had nothing to cut it with, so I carried it down the hall to see if I could find someone who could help me out. I must have still had that "lost puppy" look, because an inmate stopped me and asked if I needed help. I explained my dilemma and he went to his cube and returned with a nail clipper. He clipped the zip tie off the bag and I thanked him before returning to my new home.
I made my bed and put the rest of my belongings in my 36" x 48" locker. As I organized the few items I had, an inmate came up to me and introduced himself to me. He handed me a pair of new shower shoes, a bar of soap (no rope!!) :-), soap dish, a "real" toothbrush and a toothbrush holder. I had read, before I came to prison, that I should beware of inmates who "offer" me gifts, as there may be "strings" attached to the gifts. I felt awkward with his presentation of the gifts, until he told me that these were compliments of the chapel. He reassured me that there were no expectations for me to pay for them. They were truly "gifts"!
God began to answer my prayers in an amazing way! My first introduction was a Christian with gifts from the chapel! I was beginning to feel better already. I talked to him for a while and told him that I was a Christian and that I wanted to know more about the chapel. He told me about the schedule, but I didn't remember any of it with the overload of information.
Not long after he left me, other men came up to me to welcome me and offer some tips to get acclimated to this new world. My new cell-y eventually came to the cell and introduced himself as "Book-em". This is what everyone calls him. He showed me around our 8' x 10' cube and told me about the rules here. He is a nice guy who has one year left of a ten year sentence for dealing drugs. He showed me the scars left from the five bullets his rival put in him. He was told that he should have died from the wounds. I suggested that God must have other plans for him. He agreed!
Our cube is very simple for an 8 x 10 area. There is a standard bunk bed with a ladder. The mattress is much better than the ones in the SHU. There is sufficient cushion in them to keep me comfortable. One end of the mattress has a bump which is the "pillow". I use a clean sweatshirt for my pillow. From the top I can look around and see every other top bunk in our barracks. There are six hooks on the walls to hang our clothes from. We have a mini-steel desk bolted to the wall. On either side of the desk are our storage lockers. We have a 3 x 3 window on the North wall. I can see the road that leads up the hill to the main part of the prison. To the left of the road is the edge of the wooded ravine that wraps around the facility. The road empty's into a parking lot for staff and visitors. On visiting days, I can watch the visitors drive in and congregate at the gate as they wait for the guards inside to open the gate for them. Our window is very popular with the other inmates who don't have a window.
In the snow outside my window are a series of rabbit tracks that lead to a hole in the snow. He lives in a culvert and can be seen on occasion.
There are 64 cubes in our unit. Most have two men, but there are 22 of them with a third man. There are no doors on our cubes, so privacy is lacking. I was ready to learn more about my surroundings, but I was unsure about my freedom. For the last 48 days, I was not allowed outside my cell without handcuffs and an escort. And now, here I was with no guard in sight, men moving around freely, but I was afraid to leave my cube!!
It wasn't until another man came by to introduce himself that I ventured out of the cube. He took me on a tour of the unit. My cube is on the far end away from the activities that take place on the other end. I am grateful to be so far away from the noise! We walked to the other end of my "street" and entered a large room with tables and chairs. There are five televisions mounted throughout the room, but there is no sound coming from any of them. Anyone watching the TV's used an FM radio tuned to the TV channel of choice. Just outside of this room is a set of four telephones for us to use. Just past the phones are two more rooms with a TV in each of them. Instead of tables and chairs, they have small bleachers that were assembled in the rooms. These two rooms are "owned" by an ethnic group who is quick to tell you that you are not welcome in there. I went in these rooms to clean, as my job assignment, but I was told by one of the members to get out! They are now responsible to clean their own room.
We turned down another hallway past some bulletin boards with out-dated schedules and semi-helpful information. Next to this wealth of information is a recessed counter-top with four computer terminals. We use these to manage our finances (prison fund), mailing contact list/labels, our "P"tunes (prison tunes for MP3 Players purchased in the commissary). They do offer e-mail to some inmates, but for those whose crimes involved a computer, the computer access is restricted. We turned past the computers down a short hallway and entered a room that has a very large ice-maker. This is free to the inmates, which is a nice luxury! Next to the ice machine is a faucet that dispenses hot water. They call it the "190" because the temperature is at 190 degrees! I can now have HOT coffee, instead of lukewarm coffee. The room at the end of this hall is the laundry room. There are three top-load commercial washers and dryers. These are free to use, but there is usually a waiting line.
Heading out of this hallway back toward the computer desks, there are two more TV rooms with a TV and bleachers. One of them plays the Spanish channel and the other one has welcomed me when I clean it. Further down this hallway is the Bathroom/Shower room. It is divided up into a sink room with 11 sinks. Another room with urinals and stalls that have doors on them! It is nice to finally have some privacy instead of having a cell-y three feet from you when doing your "business". Ironically, there is usually an inmate on either side of me just inches away. Just having the wall between us is enough to give a sense of privacy. The toilets are not like the "shred-master 9000" in the SHU. These are good old fashioned porcelain toilets that you would find in a commercial building. The only difference is that we have to pull the handle to flush!!! :-)
The shower room is very nice. There are twelve private stalls. Each stall has room to move around so you can comfortably change your clothes. There is no temperature adjustment but the temperature is pretty comfortable and consistent. The shower room also serves as a work-out room for the body builders here. They usually post a "look-out" at the door when the work-outs are in session. This room is also the occasional smoking room for inmates. (Yes, you can get almost anything here if you have money and you are willing to take the risk of moving to a higher security prison.) Before I arrived in the unit, one of the inmates was caught with a cell phone in his cube. He is no longer here.
We took a left out of the bathroom and walked back toward my cube ending the tour of the barracks. Keep in mind there are three other identical barracks in this building, housing a total of 600 men. My new world seems so big, it is over-whelming to me. The "freedom" is so refreshing, but it is also very intimidating.
Stay tuned for the rest of this entry.....
McFreedom
Monday, January 28, 2013
DEFINING "FREEDOM" (Part 1)
The holidays were over and the New Year had just begun. The New Year rang in with loud shouts through the vents, empty milk cartons popping, and inmates kicking their cell doors! Although the sounds were disruptive to an otherwise quiet night, it was nice to have a break from the monotony even if it did keep me awake.
My cell-y and I were both handling our extended stay in the SHU very well. However, time and confinement were taking their toll on us. We were getting restless as the walls seemed to close in on us. Our hope was that we would be moved this week. so the anticipation was growing deep inside. The feeling was much like I experienced when I was a child waiting for Christmas Day to arrive. I had to suppress my enthusiasm when I heard the jingling of the guard's keys as they marched down the "range".
When you are confined long enough, you learn to "trend" any activity. We observed that the majority of movement took place on Thursdays. This 'first' Thursday of the New Year was our new Christmas. We awoke with eagerness that morning when we heard the guards bring new inmates on the range. One of them was placed in the cell across the hall from us. Our new neighbor was out-spoken and found that he had "friends" in other cells on the range.
We listened intently as he talked about the "shakedown" that took place that morning and the injustice served to him. He was not the only one who landed in the SHU, there were several others that moved in that morning. This could only mean that we were going to be moved out today! It took every ounce of self-control to keep from doing a "Happy Dance" right there in our cell!!
Shortly after our lunch trays were collected, the guards marched down the range and told us to pack up because we were leaving. This was it!!! This was the moment we have been waiting for for the last 35 days. We put all of our possessions in our bed sheets and tied up the ends to make a make-shift sack. I was caught up in all the excitement of this moment when suddenly I realized that I would be facing new changes. I was used to my cell-y, the routine, and the cell. This had become my world. I knew it well and it was all about to change. Who would be my new cell-y? What is the new routine going to be like? How many people would be in the new unit? These questions and more began to spin around in my head. I began to pray and ask God to take away my anxieties and worries. I asked Him for courage and confidence to face the new world I was about to enter. I knew I could not do this on my own and I needed to draw on the Power of the Holy Spirit, which is promised to Believers. This is a lesson I have been repeating for the last two years. It is finally becoming second nature to bring all things to God before the problems get "worried" into a crisis of belief.
The guards came to handcuff us behind our backs. We then had to squat down and pick up our sheets with everything inside. We marched down the range, as our over-sized knapsacks were hitting the back of my legs. They put us into a "bullpen" with five other men. Inside the room were seven plastic bins with our names on each one. We were told to change out of our stylish blaze orange jumpsuit and put on our green and brown wardrobe. I opened up my bin and found the clothes that they had me wear when I first arrived off the bus. I had only worn these clothes for an hour, so they were still clean. When they gave me these clothes, they were too big for me. Now hey were even bigger!!!
I was also very excited to find two new books in this bin that they would not allow me to have in the SHU. One of the books was my new ESV Ryrie Study Bible, which my thoughtful wife had ordered for me. I quickly thumbed through the pages to see all the resources it had. I wanted to spend more time to read through it, but there wasn't any time. There was also a clean plastic bag filled with snack food they gave all the inmates at Christmas. Apparently we couldn't be trusted with this bag of candy bars and chips in the SHU.
Now that we were all out-fitted in our ill-fitting green uniforms, the soldiers came back and put on our hand cuffs and shackles. We still had to carry our own possessions, so it was a challenge to hang on to it all without dropping anything. I held on to my new Bible with all the strength my fingers had in them. We got to the front door and I could see the sun was out and the ground was covered in sparkling white snow. This is the first time I had seen the outside since I arrived 35 days ago. I couldn't take my eyes from looking out the windows. It was beautiful out there! I wanted to take it all in, but the brightness of the sun reflecting off the snow was too much for my eyes and they began to water from the brightness.
The soldiers had a passenger van parked outside the door warming up. There was another soldier in a pick-up truck with a shotgun loaded and ready, in case one of us thought we had a chance to run away with our legs shackled together. As we stepped outside, the rush of cold air was over-whelming. It was very cold, but that didn't seem to matter to me, as it was fresh and clean. I was the last inmate to board the van, so I didn't have to navigate the narrow passage to the rear seats in shackles. I sat behind the driver's seat next to another inmate. The soldiers seemed to be having a good time with each other as they were poking fun at each other the entire time. One of them squeezed on the seat next to me and others sat in the back and in the "shot gun" seat . We drove up to the first barricade and stopped. A soldier got out and opened the two steel arms so the van could pass through. The driver began to pass through but one of the gates was closing on its own. The driver hesitated briefly and then decided he could make it through before the gate hit the side of the van, so he floored it and the van lurched forward through the barricade without incident. The soldier closed the gate and walked up to the van. As he reached for the door, the driver hit the gas and left the guard standing there. Then stopped and let the soldier catch up again. They all had a good laugh over that.
This brought memories of my youth to mind when we would pull the same stunts on each other. I wanted to share in the laughter with the soldiers, but I did not think that it would be appropriate for me to join in their moment. It was enough to smile and actually enjoy the company of other people, even if they were soldiers. Once they finally let the soldier in the van, we proceeded 300 yards down the hill to our new home.
(to be continued......)
McFreedom
My cell-y and I were both handling our extended stay in the SHU very well. However, time and confinement were taking their toll on us. We were getting restless as the walls seemed to close in on us. Our hope was that we would be moved this week. so the anticipation was growing deep inside. The feeling was much like I experienced when I was a child waiting for Christmas Day to arrive. I had to suppress my enthusiasm when I heard the jingling of the guard's keys as they marched down the "range".
When you are confined long enough, you learn to "trend" any activity. We observed that the majority of movement took place on Thursdays. This 'first' Thursday of the New Year was our new Christmas. We awoke with eagerness that morning when we heard the guards bring new inmates on the range. One of them was placed in the cell across the hall from us. Our new neighbor was out-spoken and found that he had "friends" in other cells on the range.
We listened intently as he talked about the "shakedown" that took place that morning and the injustice served to him. He was not the only one who landed in the SHU, there were several others that moved in that morning. This could only mean that we were going to be moved out today! It took every ounce of self-control to keep from doing a "Happy Dance" right there in our cell!!
Shortly after our lunch trays were collected, the guards marched down the range and told us to pack up because we were leaving. This was it!!! This was the moment we have been waiting for for the last 35 days. We put all of our possessions in our bed sheets and tied up the ends to make a make-shift sack. I was caught up in all the excitement of this moment when suddenly I realized that I would be facing new changes. I was used to my cell-y, the routine, and the cell. This had become my world. I knew it well and it was all about to change. Who would be my new cell-y? What is the new routine going to be like? How many people would be in the new unit? These questions and more began to spin around in my head. I began to pray and ask God to take away my anxieties and worries. I asked Him for courage and confidence to face the new world I was about to enter. I knew I could not do this on my own and I needed to draw on the Power of the Holy Spirit, which is promised to Believers. This is a lesson I have been repeating for the last two years. It is finally becoming second nature to bring all things to God before the problems get "worried" into a crisis of belief.
The guards came to handcuff us behind our backs. We then had to squat down and pick up our sheets with everything inside. We marched down the range, as our over-sized knapsacks were hitting the back of my legs. They put us into a "bullpen" with five other men. Inside the room were seven plastic bins with our names on each one. We were told to change out of our stylish blaze orange jumpsuit and put on our green and brown wardrobe. I opened up my bin and found the clothes that they had me wear when I first arrived off the bus. I had only worn these clothes for an hour, so they were still clean. When they gave me these clothes, they were too big for me. Now hey were even bigger!!!
I was also very excited to find two new books in this bin that they would not allow me to have in the SHU. One of the books was my new ESV Ryrie Study Bible, which my thoughtful wife had ordered for me. I quickly thumbed through the pages to see all the resources it had. I wanted to spend more time to read through it, but there wasn't any time. There was also a clean plastic bag filled with snack food they gave all the inmates at Christmas. Apparently we couldn't be trusted with this bag of candy bars and chips in the SHU.
Now that we were all out-fitted in our ill-fitting green uniforms, the soldiers came back and put on our hand cuffs and shackles. We still had to carry our own possessions, so it was a challenge to hang on to it all without dropping anything. I held on to my new Bible with all the strength my fingers had in them. We got to the front door and I could see the sun was out and the ground was covered in sparkling white snow. This is the first time I had seen the outside since I arrived 35 days ago. I couldn't take my eyes from looking out the windows. It was beautiful out there! I wanted to take it all in, but the brightness of the sun reflecting off the snow was too much for my eyes and they began to water from the brightness.
The soldiers had a passenger van parked outside the door warming up. There was another soldier in a pick-up truck with a shotgun loaded and ready, in case one of us thought we had a chance to run away with our legs shackled together. As we stepped outside, the rush of cold air was over-whelming. It was very cold, but that didn't seem to matter to me, as it was fresh and clean. I was the last inmate to board the van, so I didn't have to navigate the narrow passage to the rear seats in shackles. I sat behind the driver's seat next to another inmate. The soldiers seemed to be having a good time with each other as they were poking fun at each other the entire time. One of them squeezed on the seat next to me and others sat in the back and in the "shot gun" seat . We drove up to the first barricade and stopped. A soldier got out and opened the two steel arms so the van could pass through. The driver began to pass through but one of the gates was closing on its own. The driver hesitated briefly and then decided he could make it through before the gate hit the side of the van, so he floored it and the van lurched forward through the barricade without incident. The soldier closed the gate and walked up to the van. As he reached for the door, the driver hit the gas and left the guard standing there. Then stopped and let the soldier catch up again. They all had a good laugh over that.
This brought memories of my youth to mind when we would pull the same stunts on each other. I wanted to share in the laughter with the soldiers, but I did not think that it would be appropriate for me to join in their moment. It was enough to smile and actually enjoy the company of other people, even if they were soldiers. Once they finally let the soldier in the van, we proceeded 300 yards down the hill to our new home.
(to be continued......)
McFreedom
Saturday, January 26, 2013
How to Visit a Federal Prison 101
I would like to help the next person that plans to visit an
inmate at Elkton Federal Satellite Low Security prison to have a little better
idea of what is expected of them. My
first visit was a bit of a challenge!!
First thing to note is that you cannot just “pop in” for a
visit without being on the inmate’s “approved” visitor’s list. The inmate will list immediate family
members, at the time of intake to the facility.
These visitors are “approved” without background checks. Any other family (in-laws) and friends will
need to obtain a form to complete (I have copies of this form) and they may be
subject to a background check before being added to the approved visitor
list. The inmate is allowed 20 approved
visitors at a time. This makes
“surprise” visits a bit difficult, until you have been there once.
What NOT to wear:
- · Ladies, no “underwire” bra. They will literally make you take it off or turn you away!!!
- · No scarves
- · No shorts
- · No open-toed shoes
- · No low-cut blouses
- · Nothing too revealing or “sexy”
- · You can wear jewelry, but may have to take it off to go through the metal detector.
- · Seems kind of odd to me, but the rule book says you MUST wear underwear. I guess that seemed like a “given” to me.
What you should bring:
- · Your driver’s license (must have!!)
- · You must KNOW your inmate’s prisoner ID number
- · You need to know the license plate number on your car (even a rental car – by the way – it is probably on the tag on the key to the rental car)
- · If you have implanted devices or metal hardware, it is helpful to carry a letter from your doctor that shows proof. People have been refused visits because they failed the metal detector due to implants.
- · One one-dollar bill (to purchase your first prison debit card) and an additional amount of money to charge the debit card (it takes at least $20.00 per day to purchase food and drinks in the vending area of the visitors’ room) There are microwaves to heat up the vending food. This is a real treat for the inmates!!!
What to take INTO the visiting area:
- · NOTHING but what you are wearing!
- · You can’t take a wallet, purse, or any food, drink, etc.
- · Your driver’s license will be held at the check-in counter until you leave.
- · You can take a vending machine debit card (purchased as you come into the check-in area) but NO CASH can be carried in.
Here’s the Process:
1.
Park in the parking lot in front of the building
you are visiting
2.
Leave anything locked in your vehicle that is
listed above as not allowed
3.
Walk up to the gate at the entrance to the
prison
4.
Ring the bell to seek entrance (at Elkton, it is
a push button to the left of the gate and will sound like it is ringing a phone
– they will not “answer” the call verbally)
5.
Wait for the click of the gate and walk through
the first gate to the next locked door.
6.
You do not need to ring another bell for entry,
but you need to wait for the first gate to close completely before they will
unlock the next door, so be patient.
7.
When you hear the next door unlock, walk into
the “foyer” area
8.
There will be a form to be completed EVERY time
you visit. This form must be fully
completed. The form asks for:
a.
Inmate’s name, inmate’s prison ID#
b.
Your full name and address
c.
A list of items to declare if you are carrying
d.
Vehicle color, make, model, year, license plate
number
e.
If you were dropped off, just write “dropped
off” and N/A in the other vehicle fields.
9.
There is also a log book to fill in that lists
your name, address, inmate’s name and time and date you came.
10.
Now you wait for the guard behind the glass to
motion you in for check-in.
11.
When you are allowed into the guard’s area:
a.
Give the guard your driver’s license – it will
be held behind the desk until visitation is over
b.
Purchase your debit card in the machine with the
one dollar bill
c.
When the card is spit out of the machine you can
add money to the debit card by following the directions on the machine. (first put the card in the slot, then put the
money ($20.00 bill) into the cash slot.
When the card is charged, it will spit back out. This is all you can take into the visitation
room with you.
d.
You will now go through the metal detector so
you must remove your shoes, jackets, watches, jewelry, or anything in your
pockets (much like the airports) and put them in the plastic bins. The plastic bin will go through a metal
detector, too.
e.
Walk through the metal detector.
f.
If it beeps, they will ask you to step into the
area behind the desk to be wand-ed or patted down.
g.
If you pass, you will be able to put your shoes
and jewelry and jacket back on – If not, hmmmmm…plan to be turned away.
h.
When cleared you will walk into the visiting
room – a room that is quite large and has plastic chairs facing each other
(probably about 100 or so). It is loud
and there are guards watching over you.
i.
Grab a seat and wait for them to “call out” to
your inmate to come to the visitation room.
j.
When the inmate comes to the room, you may give
them hug and kiss hello. After that,
there is no contact allowed until you are leaving, at which time another hug
and kiss is permitted.
k.
You are actually allowed to visit for the full
scheduled visiting hours, as long as it is not over-crowded. If the visiting room gets too full, the
guards may end your visit early (but they generally ask “local” visitors to
leave over a visitor that has come from a long distance). (Friday nights visitation is from 5:00 p.m. –
9:00 p.m.; Saturday is 8:00 a.m. – 3:00
p.m; Sunday is 8:00 a.m. – 3:00 p.m.)
l.
You also may not be allowed access if there is
“fog” or any other issue that may cause visibility issues for the guards.
m.
There is a bathroom for the visitors inside the
visiting room. There is no lock on the
door however! You flip the BUSY/VACANT
sign on the door to let people know it is occupied, however, people still may
walk in. They at least have put a
privacy screen between the door and the toilet, so even if they walk in, they
don’t really “see” anything. The
prisoners cannot use these restrooms.
n.
You cannot leave the visitation room and come
back into the visiting room, so if you leave, you are done for the day.
o.
When the visit is over, you go back through the
guard’s check-in room and gather up your driver’s license and keys, if you left
them with the guard. Keep the debit card
for the next visit.
p.
You will be “herded” through the guard’s
check-in area to the “foyer”. All guests
that are leaving will wait in this area until all have gotten through, so the
locked door can be opened one time.
q.
Once through the first door, you will all wait
in the outer courtyard until the first door locks behind you before the outer
gate is opened and you can go to your car.
r.
Do not “linger” in the parking lot or on the
grounds. Once visiting hours are over,
they want you to be off the premises.
Accommodations:
- · There is a DAYS INN just about ½ mile from the prison. A restaurant is next door and has a pretty decent menu. If you book a room at the DAYS INN, LISBON, OH, mention that you are visiting an inmate at Elkton and you can get a reduced rate. This hotel has enhanced “security” so you have to be buzzed into the foyer until you get your room key.
- · There is a COMFORT INN in East Liverpool, OH, that is quite nice and has a pool. East Liverpool is about 15 minutes away from Elkton.
Jeannie
Saturday, January 5, 2013
"DON'T STOP BELIEVING"
(Bear with me....I have a lot of time on my hands....and mind....so this is a bit...well, bizarre....)
Do you remember the movie titled, "Planes, Trains and Automobiles" with Steve (Banjo) Martin and John Candy? Let me test your memory some more. Do you remember the scene where they are sharing a hotel room and Steve Martin gets angry at John Candy and goes off on a berating tirade? He reveals all the annoying things that John has done while on their quest to make it home for Thanksgiving. One of his complaints was about how John Candy would tell a story that does not have a point to it. I think he said something like: "The next time you tell a story, why don't you try something new like, HAVING A POINT!!"
You could see John Candy near the point of crying and he then leaves the room to go sleep in the windowless car in the middle of a snow storm. It left the viewers, including me, feeling really bad for him.
I needed to tell you all that because the following story may NOT have a point to it. The story may NOT even be funny. I just ask that you don't treat me like John Candy -- just humor me! The story is real and it made me laugh, so I thought I would share it with you.
It was New Year's Eve (2012) here in my "house" and I could not fall asleep. I was listening to the radio and scanning channels to find a New Year's Eve Celebration. I stopped on a station that had a melody I recognized and they were singing words about Jesus, so I knew it was a Christian station. I tuned in just as the song ended. I waited to hear what song was going to play next. I was very "confused" by what I heard next.
The instruments had a haunting, lonely sound as they began -- I recognized this tune, but it was an old classic song by the band "Journey". But why a Christian station would be playing this song was baffling. I was confused. Then the vocalist started to sing and I expected the classic words, "She was a lonely girl...Born and raised in South Detroit...".
But the lyrics they sang didn't match. In fact, the vocalist sounded a little "off", too. I turned up the volume so I could hear better. I didn't quite get the beginning, but it sounded like they sang, "She was a PREGNANT girl...on her way to BETHLEHEM"...
I began to question my hearing, which has been known to be a bit impaired at times....or perhaps when I CHOOSE for it to be impaired. I continued to listen mostly because I like the original song. The chorus to the original song goes like this, "Don't stop believing..." The new version of this chorus is what made me laugh...
They were telling the story of Jesus' birth which includes an evacuation to Egypt to avoid King Herod's new law to kill all the boy children. So the chorus went like this: (I should prepare you and make sure you are sure you are sitting down to avoid any broken bones in case you fall down laughing hysterically) Are you ready???
The chorus was, "Don't stop 'til Egypt..."
Did you find that as funny as I did? (or is this truly one of those "pointless stories"?) I never caught the name of the artist that performed this version, but they were pretty "bold". It makes me wonder what other classic rock songs could be converted to become Christian songs? How about "I'm on a... Highway to Heaven", or "You Can't Always Get What You Want...Unless You Pray" or if you want to include the disco theme "Stayin' Alive ...In Christ".
Okay, I heard you...I'll stop naming songs now.
After listening to this unusual song, I lost any hope of falling asleep anytime soon because I was now thinking through a list of songs that could be "CONVERTED" to Christian words. If there is a point to be made here, it could be:
1. Don't listen to Christian Radio Stations in Pittsburgh late at night
or
2. Don't convert lyrics to a classic old song EVER.
I'll let you pick one that applies. I will go and sit in the "car" now. :-)
But I'm going to leave you with MY version of an old song I converted...
"Just sit right down and hear a tale,
A tale of a fateful trip
That started from this Egypt town
A long time ago.
The Pharoah started getting mad
and Chased them to the sea......."
Oh, alright....I won't give up my day job.....WAIT....I don't HAVE a day job!!!!
Hope you all have a Happy New Year....in spite of the fact that you now have these songs in your head...LOL!
McFreedom
Do you remember the movie titled, "Planes, Trains and Automobiles" with Steve (Banjo) Martin and John Candy? Let me test your memory some more. Do you remember the scene where they are sharing a hotel room and Steve Martin gets angry at John Candy and goes off on a berating tirade? He reveals all the annoying things that John has done while on their quest to make it home for Thanksgiving. One of his complaints was about how John Candy would tell a story that does not have a point to it. I think he said something like: "The next time you tell a story, why don't you try something new like, HAVING A POINT!!"
You could see John Candy near the point of crying and he then leaves the room to go sleep in the windowless car in the middle of a snow storm. It left the viewers, including me, feeling really bad for him.
I needed to tell you all that because the following story may NOT have a point to it. The story may NOT even be funny. I just ask that you don't treat me like John Candy -- just humor me! The story is real and it made me laugh, so I thought I would share it with you.
It was New Year's Eve (2012) here in my "house" and I could not fall asleep. I was listening to the radio and scanning channels to find a New Year's Eve Celebration. I stopped on a station that had a melody I recognized and they were singing words about Jesus, so I knew it was a Christian station. I tuned in just as the song ended. I waited to hear what song was going to play next. I was very "confused" by what I heard next.
The instruments had a haunting, lonely sound as they began -- I recognized this tune, but it was an old classic song by the band "Journey". But why a Christian station would be playing this song was baffling. I was confused. Then the vocalist started to sing and I expected the classic words, "She was a lonely girl...Born and raised in South Detroit...".
But the lyrics they sang didn't match. In fact, the vocalist sounded a little "off", too. I turned up the volume so I could hear better. I didn't quite get the beginning, but it sounded like they sang, "She was a PREGNANT girl...on her way to BETHLEHEM"...
I began to question my hearing, which has been known to be a bit impaired at times....or perhaps when I CHOOSE for it to be impaired. I continued to listen mostly because I like the original song. The chorus to the original song goes like this, "Don't stop believing..." The new version of this chorus is what made me laugh...
They were telling the story of Jesus' birth which includes an evacuation to Egypt to avoid King Herod's new law to kill all the boy children. So the chorus went like this: (I should prepare you and make sure you are sure you are sitting down to avoid any broken bones in case you fall down laughing hysterically) Are you ready???
The chorus was, "Don't stop 'til Egypt..."
Did you find that as funny as I did? (or is this truly one of those "pointless stories"?) I never caught the name of the artist that performed this version, but they were pretty "bold". It makes me wonder what other classic rock songs could be converted to become Christian songs? How about "I'm on a... Highway to Heaven", or "You Can't Always Get What You Want...Unless You Pray" or if you want to include the disco theme "Stayin' Alive ...In Christ".
Okay, I heard you...I'll stop naming songs now.
After listening to this unusual song, I lost any hope of falling asleep anytime soon because I was now thinking through a list of songs that could be "CONVERTED" to Christian words. If there is a point to be made here, it could be:
1. Don't listen to Christian Radio Stations in Pittsburgh late at night
or
2. Don't convert lyrics to a classic old song EVER.
I'll let you pick one that applies. I will go and sit in the "car" now. :-)
But I'm going to leave you with MY version of an old song I converted...
"Just sit right down and hear a tale,
A tale of a fateful trip
That started from this Egypt town
A long time ago.
The Pharoah started getting mad
and Chased them to the sea......."
Oh, alright....I won't give up my day job.....WAIT....I don't HAVE a day job!!!!
Hope you all have a Happy New Year....in spite of the fact that you now have these songs in your head...LOL!
McFreedom
Thursday, January 3, 2013
LIVING IN A SHOE
My memory seems to let me down more and more these days. I do remember an old Nursery Rhyme I heard when I was a child called, "There Was an Old Woman Who Lived In A Shoe". Now, I can't remember the entire story, but I remember she lived in an old shoe with many kids. I'm sure it must have smelled bad on the inside. This is the picture that first entered my mind when I was told by a guard that I would be staying in the SHU at Terror Hut. My vision of the SHU was completely wrong, with the exception of the smell...and the spelling. This SHU is an acronym that stands for "Special Housing Unit".
The name makes it sound more like a privileged place for people of importance. It sounds like any upgrade from the ordinary. When I used to travel for my former employer, I would often be told that I had been awarded an upgrade in seating on the plane from coach to first class, or when I arrived at my hotel and the clerk at the counter would smile at me and tell me that she was going to upgrade my room to a suite on the concierge floor of the hotel. When this happened, I really felt "special"! So when I hear the term "Special Housing Unit", my mind thinks about an upgrade and not a down grade in living conditions Hence, the irony when the B.O.P. (Bureau of Prisons) decided to name these confinement areas as "Special". These areas are often referred to as the "HOLE" by the occupants.
I spent 13 days in the hole at Terror Hut. Today marks my 30th day in the hole at Elkton. I am plagued by the old song by "The Artist Formerly Known As Prince" titled, "30 Days in the Hole". It makes me sad that I remember that song.
Spending 43 days in the SHU, I have gained a fair amount of insight and understand about the SHU and its purpose. This new understanding does not change my circumstances, but it does change my perspective of it. So many times in my life, I have felt trapped and overwhelmed by my circumstances. When this happens, it is hard to make good decisions because my judgement is blurred. So I would become stuck in a rut and I would realize that I needed help to get out of it. God has shown me different ways to do this that have really helped me. At work we had a technique we called the 50,000 foot view. We would take a problem that seemed unsolvable and look at it from 50,000 feet. Suddenly, our problem seemed smaller to us. This helped us to remove the clutter from our minds so we could get the big picture.
In my personal life, when I was trying to solve bigger and more important problems, I would feel like my mind was stuck much like a vinyl album with a scratch in it. In order to get past the scratch, I would lift the needle and put it on the other side. I would do this by engaging in a project around the house, or I would go out to the woods for a change of scenery most often. I would simply talk to my Godly wife who would help me to see a different perspective. I usually had to stew over the problem by myself first. After following one or more of these strategies, God would give me clarity in understanding the circumstances that seemed so overwhelming at the time. As He did then, God has now shown me some clarity regarding the SHU.
Every Federal Prison, and I assume State Prisons, have a form of a SHU. They use these units for many reasons. They are used for Discipline for bad behavior, Segregation for Safety of inmates, Hold over for prisoner transport, or while waiting for open bed space in the general population. The primary purpose is for discipline. They design the SHU to be a prison within a prison. They took the worst case scenario of a violent inmate and created the SHU. The facility is indestructible, although it appears many have tried to prove them wrong. The rules and procedures are highly restrictive with NO exceptions.
The guards are trained to behave more like soldiers in a war. They are enforcers of the rules. They use force when it is required, but more frequently use intimidation as their weapon of choice. Some are simply unhappy and mean-spirited, and others are firm and respectful and even kind.
When you first enter a SHU, they do not know anything about you, so they assume you are violent. After you have been here for a while, they will give you respect if you demonstrate the same. There are a few that just don't care. The rules are the same for everyone in the SHU no matter why you were sent there. This is the most difficult rule that many inmates, including myself must overcome. The guards don't care for complainers, so they will often answer your question with sarcasm or sometimes just walk away from you. The cell next to mine had a new inmate who asked many questions and logged complaints to the guards and even the Unit Manager. I would listen carefully when he did this and I could hear the annoyance grow in the voices of the staff.
My house (cell) is a quaint little "studio". It is 11 x 7 and built like a fortress. The room is shaped like a backwards L to accommodate a recessed, stainless steel shower stall. It has a push button that runs the shower for one minute and alternates between ice water cold to scalding hot. Next to the shower is the famed "uni-toilet". It's efficient design combines toilet, sink and toilet paper holder in one compact unit made out of polished stainless steel. This also serves as a living room chair, as it has a nice backrest to lean on. The problem is that there is no lid to flip down, which causes your legs to fall asleep after a while. The best feature of the uni-toilet is the push button flush. Since the "house" is small, odors and sounds travel quickly. The push button allows for continuous flushing which creates a white noise to mask other noises and it creates a vacuum more powerful than most ceiling fans! The down side is the cold water cools the steel which also makes your skin get cold. It's a small sacrifice to make for better air quality. To honor a cell-y's privacy while using the uni-toilet, you must first announce that you need to go number 1 or 2. There are two options for the cell-y who must endure your privacy: 1. There is a corner that forms the backward L and he can stand in it. This puts him 3 feet away from you and out of sight. Or 2. The cell-y can roll over in his bunk and cove his head and nose with his blanket. Of course, this is awkward at first, but you will get used to it.
Opposite the bathroom is a small steel desk bolted to the cinder blocks. There is a round seat that swings out when you want to use it. This also is very efficient as it also works as a "table for one" to eat meals. This has yet another feature which is most important: It serves as a ladder to reach the top bunk! It is very sturdy but hard to find in the dark of night.
The bedroom consists of a steel bunk bed along the west wall. The bunk is also very sturdy with four bolts holding it to the concrete floor. I have the top bunk assignment, so I have a great view of the entire "house". There is an 18" square window next to me. It has two round bars protecting the glass behind it. The glass is coated on the outside so it only allows me to see light come through. On clear days, I can watch the orange circle of sun as it fades over the horizon. The ledge of the window has become storage for a few items, which is not allowed in the rules. I usually sit in front of the window when they have inspections.
At the foot of my bunk there is a small area that the guards cannot see from the door window. This is where I taped up Christmas cards, a drawing from my grandson and a picture of a Christmas Tree that Jeannie put in her living room this year. This is my "house" Christmas Tree.
The room is lit with a 4 bulb fluorescent light that we cannot control. It is bright and cheery. At 9:30 p.m. they turn it off and turn on a smaller light inside the fixture. I sleep with a shirt or towel over my head to make it dark.
This is my "house" - all 364 cinder blocks of it! Our meals are delivered through a hole in the door three times a day. We get clean linens delivered twice a week. Clean clothes are delivered three times a week. (Jeannie says this is better than he got at home!!!!)
In the 30 days I have been here in Elkton, I have left the "house" twice. Once for a shake down by the guards to search for contraband and to make sure I had not chewed through the steel bars on the window! The other time was for a trip to visit the medical department. I met the dentist who inventoried my teeth and past dental work. Then I met the doctor who did a history of my health. I believe the doctor is a Christian, based on a few brief comments he made in our conversation. I hope to talk to him more when I have my "over-50" exam with him. :-( It was nice to be in the medical department. They treated me as a fellow human, despite the handcuffs I was required to wear outside my "house". Remember, they consider us all to be violent.
The rest of the time is spent in the "house". Our schedule is simple:
6:00 a.m. - Lights get bright and breakfast is served
6:30 a.m. - Go back to bed until bored
10:30 a.m. - Lunch is served
4:30 p.m. - Dinner is served
5:30 p.m. - Mail call ( My FAVORITE!!!)
9:30 p.m. - Lights dim for the night
The time in between these scheduled events is spent sleeping or napping, reading, praying, listening to the radio Bible teachers, talking to the cell-y, writing letters, thinking about family, and battling boredom.
I do keep very busy here. I am blessed to have friends and family who support and encourage me while I am here. All of my cell-ys have been amazed at the mail I receive. They have told me they just don't have that many people outside to keep in touch with. I am humbled when they tell me this.
Even with this, there are times when I feel miserable and alone. The mail takes 6-7 days to arrive here and it is another week to reply. This has been very frustrating to get 'old news'. It was worse this Christmas. I was already having a "blue" Christmas, then a blizzard hit in Wisconsin and made it here to Ohio. This delayed the mail along with the holiday schedules and large volumes of mail. It was difficult to be isolated in the SHU for the holidays. I gave these feelings to God and asked Him for comfort. As always, God came through and answered my prayer in several ways.
It started with a radio teacher (I forget which one) who was teaching on 2 Timothy 4:9-19. The Apostle Paul was in prison in Rome. They called the prison the Mamertine Prison. He described it as a hole in the ground with a hole on the top which he was lowered into. They placed a rock over the top in case he could jump really high. The conditions were primitive. No showers, no uni-toilet, no mattress, and no heat. He knew his death was not far off. His friends all left him except Luke. Winter was coming soon and he did not have his cloak. The conditions were miserable. His death was imminent. He was cold, his friends abandoned him, and yet all he wanted was his Bible and paper to write. He did not get hung up on his circumstances! Instead he praised God for his strengh and comfort, so he could continue teaching! This man had great faith and courage, even in the worst conditions and circumstances!
So when I read this passage, I am humbled. If Paul can have that kind of faith in Rome, I can have that same faith here in my "house". I have it pretty nice here. I don't have anything to complain about! God is good to His children. We need to trust Him more.
I was also encouraged by some printed sermons from John Piper's church. My sister, Cindy, prints them out and mails them to me. One in particular really struck me. The title was "The Invincible, Irrefutable Joy", written by Tony Reinke from "Desiring God". In this article he shares how Dietrich Bonhoeffer was put into a Nazi prison where the conditions were described as putrid. He was lonely, sick and feared for his life. this man had faith like Paul!
The stories of these two men convicted me to trust God more than my feelings and personal comfort. These men never knew me, but they encouraged me when I really needed it. God knew all along that I needed this. He knows all our needs. We MUST trust Him!!
The net time I am feeling miserable and lonely like I was this Christmas, when I feel surrounded by my troubles and can't see past them, I need to go to God and ask Him to change my perspective. God can take your problems far beyond 50,000 feet. He will listen to you and allow you to talk through the solution with Him. He will distract you from your problems so you can see them in a different light. God is the great equalizer.
Where ever you are, and whatever problems you are facing, take them to Jesus and ask Him for a new perspective. He will fill you with incredible Joy!
A final note worthy of Praise to God: when you are in the SHU for 30 days, you are allowed to make one 15 minute phone call. Since I am new, my phone account was not completely set up yet. I have been praying that God would work out the details to make it work so I could make the call. He did!! I was blessed to be able to hear the voice of my bride tonight!!! It has been 44 days since we last spoke to each other. I praise God for this answer to prayer!
McFreedom
The name makes it sound more like a privileged place for people of importance. It sounds like any upgrade from the ordinary. When I used to travel for my former employer, I would often be told that I had been awarded an upgrade in seating on the plane from coach to first class, or when I arrived at my hotel and the clerk at the counter would smile at me and tell me that she was going to upgrade my room to a suite on the concierge floor of the hotel. When this happened, I really felt "special"! So when I hear the term "Special Housing Unit", my mind thinks about an upgrade and not a down grade in living conditions Hence, the irony when the B.O.P. (Bureau of Prisons) decided to name these confinement areas as "Special". These areas are often referred to as the "HOLE" by the occupants.
I spent 13 days in the hole at Terror Hut. Today marks my 30th day in the hole at Elkton. I am plagued by the old song by "The Artist Formerly Known As Prince" titled, "30 Days in the Hole". It makes me sad that I remember that song.
Spending 43 days in the SHU, I have gained a fair amount of insight and understand about the SHU and its purpose. This new understanding does not change my circumstances, but it does change my perspective of it. So many times in my life, I have felt trapped and overwhelmed by my circumstances. When this happens, it is hard to make good decisions because my judgement is blurred. So I would become stuck in a rut and I would realize that I needed help to get out of it. God has shown me different ways to do this that have really helped me. At work we had a technique we called the 50,000 foot view. We would take a problem that seemed unsolvable and look at it from 50,000 feet. Suddenly, our problem seemed smaller to us. This helped us to remove the clutter from our minds so we could get the big picture.
In my personal life, when I was trying to solve bigger and more important problems, I would feel like my mind was stuck much like a vinyl album with a scratch in it. In order to get past the scratch, I would lift the needle and put it on the other side. I would do this by engaging in a project around the house, or I would go out to the woods for a change of scenery most often. I would simply talk to my Godly wife who would help me to see a different perspective. I usually had to stew over the problem by myself first. After following one or more of these strategies, God would give me clarity in understanding the circumstances that seemed so overwhelming at the time. As He did then, God has now shown me some clarity regarding the SHU.
Every Federal Prison, and I assume State Prisons, have a form of a SHU. They use these units for many reasons. They are used for Discipline for bad behavior, Segregation for Safety of inmates, Hold over for prisoner transport, or while waiting for open bed space in the general population. The primary purpose is for discipline. They design the SHU to be a prison within a prison. They took the worst case scenario of a violent inmate and created the SHU. The facility is indestructible, although it appears many have tried to prove them wrong. The rules and procedures are highly restrictive with NO exceptions.
The guards are trained to behave more like soldiers in a war. They are enforcers of the rules. They use force when it is required, but more frequently use intimidation as their weapon of choice. Some are simply unhappy and mean-spirited, and others are firm and respectful and even kind.
When you first enter a SHU, they do not know anything about you, so they assume you are violent. After you have been here for a while, they will give you respect if you demonstrate the same. There are a few that just don't care. The rules are the same for everyone in the SHU no matter why you were sent there. This is the most difficult rule that many inmates, including myself must overcome. The guards don't care for complainers, so they will often answer your question with sarcasm or sometimes just walk away from you. The cell next to mine had a new inmate who asked many questions and logged complaints to the guards and even the Unit Manager. I would listen carefully when he did this and I could hear the annoyance grow in the voices of the staff.
My house (cell) is a quaint little "studio". It is 11 x 7 and built like a fortress. The room is shaped like a backwards L to accommodate a recessed, stainless steel shower stall. It has a push button that runs the shower for one minute and alternates between ice water cold to scalding hot. Next to the shower is the famed "uni-toilet". It's efficient design combines toilet, sink and toilet paper holder in one compact unit made out of polished stainless steel. This also serves as a living room chair, as it has a nice backrest to lean on. The problem is that there is no lid to flip down, which causes your legs to fall asleep after a while. The best feature of the uni-toilet is the push button flush. Since the "house" is small, odors and sounds travel quickly. The push button allows for continuous flushing which creates a white noise to mask other noises and it creates a vacuum more powerful than most ceiling fans! The down side is the cold water cools the steel which also makes your skin get cold. It's a small sacrifice to make for better air quality. To honor a cell-y's privacy while using the uni-toilet, you must first announce that you need to go number 1 or 2. There are two options for the cell-y who must endure your privacy: 1. There is a corner that forms the backward L and he can stand in it. This puts him 3 feet away from you and out of sight. Or 2. The cell-y can roll over in his bunk and cove his head and nose with his blanket. Of course, this is awkward at first, but you will get used to it.
Opposite the bathroom is a small steel desk bolted to the cinder blocks. There is a round seat that swings out when you want to use it. This also is very efficient as it also works as a "table for one" to eat meals. This has yet another feature which is most important: It serves as a ladder to reach the top bunk! It is very sturdy but hard to find in the dark of night.
The bedroom consists of a steel bunk bed along the west wall. The bunk is also very sturdy with four bolts holding it to the concrete floor. I have the top bunk assignment, so I have a great view of the entire "house". There is an 18" square window next to me. It has two round bars protecting the glass behind it. The glass is coated on the outside so it only allows me to see light come through. On clear days, I can watch the orange circle of sun as it fades over the horizon. The ledge of the window has become storage for a few items, which is not allowed in the rules. I usually sit in front of the window when they have inspections.
At the foot of my bunk there is a small area that the guards cannot see from the door window. This is where I taped up Christmas cards, a drawing from my grandson and a picture of a Christmas Tree that Jeannie put in her living room this year. This is my "house" Christmas Tree.
The room is lit with a 4 bulb fluorescent light that we cannot control. It is bright and cheery. At 9:30 p.m. they turn it off and turn on a smaller light inside the fixture. I sleep with a shirt or towel over my head to make it dark.
This is my "house" - all 364 cinder blocks of it! Our meals are delivered through a hole in the door three times a day. We get clean linens delivered twice a week. Clean clothes are delivered three times a week. (Jeannie says this is better than he got at home!!!!)
In the 30 days I have been here in Elkton, I have left the "house" twice. Once for a shake down by the guards to search for contraband and to make sure I had not chewed through the steel bars on the window! The other time was for a trip to visit the medical department. I met the dentist who inventoried my teeth and past dental work. Then I met the doctor who did a history of my health. I believe the doctor is a Christian, based on a few brief comments he made in our conversation. I hope to talk to him more when I have my "over-50" exam with him. :-( It was nice to be in the medical department. They treated me as a fellow human, despite the handcuffs I was required to wear outside my "house". Remember, they consider us all to be violent.
The rest of the time is spent in the "house". Our schedule is simple:
6:00 a.m. - Lights get bright and breakfast is served
6:30 a.m. - Go back to bed until bored
10:30 a.m. - Lunch is served
4:30 p.m. - Dinner is served
5:30 p.m. - Mail call ( My FAVORITE!!!)
9:30 p.m. - Lights dim for the night
The time in between these scheduled events is spent sleeping or napping, reading, praying, listening to the radio Bible teachers, talking to the cell-y, writing letters, thinking about family, and battling boredom.
I do keep very busy here. I am blessed to have friends and family who support and encourage me while I am here. All of my cell-ys have been amazed at the mail I receive. They have told me they just don't have that many people outside to keep in touch with. I am humbled when they tell me this.
Even with this, there are times when I feel miserable and alone. The mail takes 6-7 days to arrive here and it is another week to reply. This has been very frustrating to get 'old news'. It was worse this Christmas. I was already having a "blue" Christmas, then a blizzard hit in Wisconsin and made it here to Ohio. This delayed the mail along with the holiday schedules and large volumes of mail. It was difficult to be isolated in the SHU for the holidays. I gave these feelings to God and asked Him for comfort. As always, God came through and answered my prayer in several ways.
It started with a radio teacher (I forget which one) who was teaching on 2 Timothy 4:9-19. The Apostle Paul was in prison in Rome. They called the prison the Mamertine Prison. He described it as a hole in the ground with a hole on the top which he was lowered into. They placed a rock over the top in case he could jump really high. The conditions were primitive. No showers, no uni-toilet, no mattress, and no heat. He knew his death was not far off. His friends all left him except Luke. Winter was coming soon and he did not have his cloak. The conditions were miserable. His death was imminent. He was cold, his friends abandoned him, and yet all he wanted was his Bible and paper to write. He did not get hung up on his circumstances! Instead he praised God for his strengh and comfort, so he could continue teaching! This man had great faith and courage, even in the worst conditions and circumstances!
So when I read this passage, I am humbled. If Paul can have that kind of faith in Rome, I can have that same faith here in my "house". I have it pretty nice here. I don't have anything to complain about! God is good to His children. We need to trust Him more.
I was also encouraged by some printed sermons from John Piper's church. My sister, Cindy, prints them out and mails them to me. One in particular really struck me. The title was "The Invincible, Irrefutable Joy", written by Tony Reinke from "Desiring God". In this article he shares how Dietrich Bonhoeffer was put into a Nazi prison where the conditions were described as putrid. He was lonely, sick and feared for his life. this man had faith like Paul!
The stories of these two men convicted me to trust God more than my feelings and personal comfort. These men never knew me, but they encouraged me when I really needed it. God knew all along that I needed this. He knows all our needs. We MUST trust Him!!
The net time I am feeling miserable and lonely like I was this Christmas, when I feel surrounded by my troubles and can't see past them, I need to go to God and ask Him to change my perspective. God can take your problems far beyond 50,000 feet. He will listen to you and allow you to talk through the solution with Him. He will distract you from your problems so you can see them in a different light. God is the great equalizer.
Where ever you are, and whatever problems you are facing, take them to Jesus and ask Him for a new perspective. He will fill you with incredible Joy!
A final note worthy of Praise to God: when you are in the SHU for 30 days, you are allowed to make one 15 minute phone call. Since I am new, my phone account was not completely set up yet. I have been praying that God would work out the details to make it work so I could make the call. He did!! I was blessed to be able to hear the voice of my bride tonight!!! It has been 44 days since we last spoke to each other. I praise God for this answer to prayer!
McFreedom
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