Have you ever had one of those weeks that take you from one extreme to another and leave you completely exhausted? This happened to me and many people around me this past week.
Before I tell more of this story, I want you to know that the love, support and prayers that I received from so many people humble me! While driving to Madison on Tuesday, we received so much encouragement by way of Facebook posts, phone calls and text messages. Then there were the hugs at the courthouse to top it off. This gave both Jeannie and I so much strength and encouragement to know that our brothers and sisters in Christ were standing along side us! The amount of support we received provided a hedge of protection from Marshfield to Madison.
My attorney told us that the law is clear and that I am likely to be incarcerated immediately after my hearing. He filed a motion with the court stipulating that I am an extraordinary “circumstance” and therefore I should be released (with restrictions) while I wait for the Sentencing Hearing. The past two weeks I was preparing for the worst, yet hopeful for the best! We believe in a God who has, and still DOES perform miracles. This same God has a plan for all of us. We wanted my freedom to last longer, but we are willing to submit to God’s will – even if it meant incarceration. So we prayed for freedom and surrendered to His will.
When we arrived at our attorney’s office, he was late due to a delay in his previous State court case. Our frustration and anxiety increased rapidly. However, we remained hopeful. When our attorney arrived, we sat in his corner office while he explained what was about to happen in the courtroom. After our lesson in courtroom etiquette, I asked him what the chances were that our motion for release would be granted. His response was grim. He said, “It doesn’t look good.” He further explained that once I enter the court, I would not be able to hug and kiss or say good-bye to Jeannie. This meant that we had to get our last hug and say good-bye at the office of our attorney. It was very sobering and we were overwhelmed by our emotions.
I was faced with an abrupt separation from everyone that I love. Entering a count jail was going to be a lonely and frightening experience. I knew God would be with me, but I wanted His Word in my hands. My attorney told me I could bring my Bible into jail as long as it was a soft cover. The catch was that I had to carry it into the courtroom with me. So there I sat next to my attorney with only my Bible and a handkerchief.
The courtroom was silent when the Judge entered the room. The tension was thick as the hearing began. There is nothing more intimidating that hearing, “All rise, court is in session. United States of America vs. Bryan Erbst”. After I was sworn in by my oath, the Judge began to question me to make sure that I understood the rights I was giving up by pleading Guilty. The U.S. Attorney read out loud the charges against me. This included a detailed description of the images found in my possession. I have spent many months working to overcome the shame of my past sin. I am finally at a point where I can look people in the eye. After hearing the charges read, I felt like I was hit by an ocean wave filled with my shame. I was slammed to the floor, as the shame wave hit me.
The Judge moved on to make a ruling on the motion for my release. Before the attorneys could make their arguments, the Judge made it clear to us all that he did NOT have the judicial authority to allow my release. He made this point emphatically clear by repeating himself. He invited my attorney to speak and they engaged in a discussion that made me very concerned. I was not sure if my attorney was arguing on my behalf or if he was just irritating the Judge! I had no choice but to “trust”. My attorney cited that the Judge was reading the wrong statute. At this point, I felt as though there was no hope for my release. I felt completely defeated!
After the Judge thumbed through a very thick law book on his bench, he came back and stated that he could not release me because I live too close to a school! What??? He just changed his whole position. How could he even talk about release when a moment before he said he had no option. I was very confused, but I felt a glimmer of hope enter the courtroom.
This was the very moment that God performed a miracle through the Judge. My attorney spoke up and said, “We have 22 people here in the courtroom with us and perhaps one of them would allow Bryan to live with them.” The Judge allowed a recess while my attorney asked the group of Christ Followers if they would consider allowing this recently charged sex offender to live in their home.
There was not more than a minute delay before two blessed people volunteered to welcome me into their home. I was amazed at such generosity from this couple! Who would do such a thing? So much sacrifice that needed to be made and graciously was done without hesitation.
When court was called back into session, the Judge made a ruling in favor of the motion to release me until the Sentencing Hearing. He asked the U.S. Attorney if she had any objections to the ruling. She was opposed to the ruling and clarified to the Judge that the law was clear and that I had to go to jail. The Judge responded that he felt the “defendant” (me) had met the requirement for an “Exceptional Circumstance” and that he did not believe it was necessary for the taxpayers to pay for my incarceration at this point. His voice was clear and strong as he told the U.S. Attorney he was releasing me for the next 60 days under house arrest.
We had to wait in the courtroom for a couple of hours while the order for release was drafted. My attorney looked over to me and told me I should buy a lottery ticket today because I was “lucky”. He also told me that it was a good choice to bring my Bible to the table. I smiled and reminded my attorney that I did not bring my Bible to the table for a ploy or tactic. I simply wanted to have it with me if I had to go to jail. I also told him that I do not believe in luck. My God did what happened in this room! He shrugged his shoulders and replied, “Whatever it was, it worked!”
I am thankful that I had 22 witnesses with me in that room. Not only were they there to encourage me and pray for me. They were there to witness the miracle that our God performed in that Judge’s ruling!
There is no other explanation that can be made for what happened that day! There was no luck involved, this was not left to mere chance. This was the result of powerful prayer warriors, acts of obedience and simple humility.
I give all praise and glory to our God for this miracle. I am thankful that He has allowed me to be a small part of this. I am thankful to all of you who walked with me and my wife, Jeannie, on this difficult journey.
I have many restrictions on this release. But they are just fine with me, as this is far better than any jail cell! I am staying at a beautiful “retreat center” in rural Wisconsin. I am able to drive to church services, work, and other appointments. My wife is staying with me and I have a wonderful friend who is staying in our home and taking care of our dog, Bandit, while Jeannie is away.
You may feel free to call me and I will happily share more about this. My old cell phone number is still active (though on a much less “intelligent” phone). I do not have email or internet access at all. If you email, Jeannie will print off the emails and bring me the paper version.
God is so good!!!
Thank you again for prayers of intercession on my behalf!
May the grace of God and his rich mercy be with you and your family always!
McFreedom (and his secretary, Jeannie)
