ELKTON MOUNTAIN HIGH

I am certain if John Denver were still alive, that he would modify his hit song "Rocky Mountain High" so it would read "ELKTON MOUNTAIN HIGH"!  I would need to rework the lyrics significantly as the high in Elkton is much different than what John sang about in his popular song.

I had only been in the new unit a few days.  My head was still swimming with trying to understand the schedules, the written rules and procedures, and, most importantly, the rules which are NOT written or simply not enforced.  My new cell-y was very helpful in understanding them, or should I say that my cell-y was very understanding with my persistent questions about what happens next.  My questions didn't seem to end and often were repeated.  "When do I need to be back in my cube for count?", "Where do I go to get toilet paper?", "Where is the control office?", and many others.  He was kind enough to answer them for me with patience.  I think part of the reason it took me longer to understand his answers was because of the "language barrier".  He spoke English, but it had a very different style to it, that I am not used to.  He is from the "Hood" so there were some new phrases and styles that are unique to the inner city.  "Do you FEEL me?"

Since it took me longer to comprehend some of his terminology and phrases, I often did not understand his humor as he interjected it into conversation.  He and the others would start laughing during our conversations, but I didn't laugh because I did not get the joke, as it was 'lost in translation'.  I would smile politely and they would laugh all the more when they realized that I did not 'get' their humor.  We still got along well and respected each other, despite our cultural differences.

After a long day of learning exploring and trying not to do anything stupid, I went to bed after our evening count.  I inserted my foam ear plugs far enough that they could meet in the middle!  Then I used my new winter scarf and wrapped it around my head so that my eyes were sheltered from the light.  Once these two senses were diminished, I could sleep pretty soundly and that night was no exception.  My cell-y and the 'neighbors' stay up late to watch television in the big room until the guards kick them out.  When the doors of the room open up, their loud voices spill into the dorms like Katydids in August. Since they have been awake al night, in a closed up television room, they seem to forget that everyone else is trying to sleep, so they continue talking in their "outside voices" as they wander back to the cubes.  They even see to escalate in volume and intensity as they talk.  Normally this sound will penetrate my ear plugs and wake me up to remind me where I am.  This night, however, I was tired enough not to wake up when they returned or else they were exceptionally quiet.  (I will stick with the former theory)

Somewhere around 12:30 a.m., I was startled by someone tapping on my shoulder.  I was in a deep sleep, feeling both groggy and disoriented.  I pulled the winter scarf off of my head and squinted at a guard staring at me!!  I forgot about the ear plugs buried in my head so when he started to speak to me it was difficult to understand what he was telling me.  It was like waking up after surgery and trying to understand what the nurse was telling me.

Now I was terrified besides the grog and disorientation.  Why was this guard waking me up in the middle of the night and staring at me?  His only instructions to me were, "Get your uniform on and meet me in the hallway."  Then he exited the cube while I was trying to process the events.  Did I do something wrong?  Am I dreaming this whole thing? It was very surreal.

The guard managed to wake up my cell-y and the neighbors, but I suspect they had not even fallen asleep yet.  I asked my cell-y what this was all about.  He sensed my confusion and decided to "capitalize" on the opportunity. He told me I was "going to the SHU".  I just had gotten out of the SHU after spending 48 agonizing days in the hole so I didn't think this statement was at all funny!!  Our 'neighbors' heard this and sensed "blood in the water" so they circled the chum!!  I asked my cell-y if his statement was true or if this was part of my hazing.  He insisted that I was "going to the hole".  In perfect timing, my neighbors all confirmed this statement to be true.  I extracted my ear plugs from my head and began my descent from the upper bunk, while my new companions taunted me with the reality of the hole.

In my disoriented state I hurriedly put on my uniform but I felt like I was all thumbs as I tried to button my shirt.  Before exiting my cube, I asked my cell-y if I was truly headed for the hole.  He must have sensed my state of panic by now and finally relented on his assertion.  He told me that I had to go and "take a drug test", though he used much more colorful language to describe it.

I felt a deep sense of relief upon hearing this from him.  Now I was asking myself why they wanted to test me?  After all, I just got here, I had no idea that there were drugs available inside these walls.  After all this is prison, not a dark alley in the city.  I am learning that you can get almost ANYTHING in prison if you are willing to take the risks and have money and "connections".  Fortunately, I am not that kind of risk-taker, and I don't have money or connections.  This didn't matte at the time, because I was about to be tested.

When I arrived at the guards office, I met six other sleepy and disoriented inmates with shoes untied and shirts half-buttoned.  I felt better knowing that I was not the only one selected for such an honorable task.  They marched us over to the visitation area and told us to start drinking water.   Although I didn't feel the need to "go", I knew it wouldn't be difficult for me now that I am in my "fifth decade".  I was the third inmate to take my test, as I really wanted to get back to my bunk and back to sleep.  I handed the guard my test sample and he dipped the strips of plastic that instantly detect evidence of drugs.  He reported my results to me, which were not a surprise and I headed back to my cube and climbed back up to bed to finish my dream of being home with my wife.  It took a while for the adrenaline rush to wear off before I could sleep.   The adrenaline rush was the only "high" I received while here on "Elkton Mountain".  I still prefer the real Rocky Mountain High, that I got whenever I was in the mountains, but it will be a few years before I can experience that again....unless...I purchase John Denver's song for my MP3 player.   Maybe later....after I get more worship songs downloaded.

--McFreedom