CHRISTMAS HOPE - PART 1

Christmas Hope – 2015 (Part 1)

Christmas is a special time that marks each year.  It means something different for different people.  For some, it is an exciting time of the year with family, special lights, gift-giving and great food.  For some it brings feelings of sadness and dread, as the day approaches.  For Christians, we see Christmas as a time to remember the birth of our Messiah, Jesus and we seek to bring Him honor through our worship, as we retell the story of His birth.

My Christmas was very different this year compared to the past 3 years.  It wasn’t a “bad” Christmas and in the same token, it wasn’t the Best Christmas.  It was just…different…with a life of its own.  The largest impact of this Christmas is that it would be my fourth Christmas in prison.  It is hard to believe that so much time has passed by.  Where has it all gone?  It passes by like "water over stones".

I looked at my chart that I use to track the months that have passed by and the months remaining.  This being my fourth Christmas means there are only three Christmases remaining here at Elkton.   Studying my count, I could see that, as of January 31^st, I will have served 39 months of my sentence and will have 39 months left to serve.  When I realized this would be my half-way point, it felt like all time had simply stopped!  A sense of panic swept over me as I tried to grasp this reality.

This new reality opened the door for the Christmas “blues” to enter.  Could I make it through this Christmas?  What about the next three?  My soul was troubled with these thoughts, as they began to consume me.  I needed comfort, but I was pretty sure the warden would not let me go home, to be with my family. 

Little King David, in the Bible, was a great musician and could really bend those strings on the old lyre.  He played music that really touched the soul and soothed the pain inside of his rival King Saul.  So I turned on the radio station that played 24-hour Christmas music.  Some was good, but it didn’t sooth my Christmas Blues.  Normally, I don’t purchase Christmas music for my “P-pod” (Prison MP3 Player), but this year I splurged and binged on Christmas music that struck the right chords in my soul.  I found some blues-y, jazz-filled Christmas music by artists such as:  Dianna Krall, Etta James, Nat King Cole, Ella Fitzgerald, various choirs, Vince Guaraldi, Dan Fogelberg, Barlow Girls, Go Fish, Amy Gill, Kenny Loggins and a few others.  These artists struck the chords of my soul like David did for Saul.  They made some classic Christmas music come alive, as they reverberated in my soul.  They invoked memories of many Christmases past and the warmth of being with my family and friends.  The flood of memories brought comfort to my heart, as the sounds ministered to my soul.  Only three more to go, I kept telling myself.  But first, I had to get through THIS one.

The week before Christmas we were treated with two Christmas Choir Concerts.  The first was a performance by the Trinitones on Tuesday.  It is an Inmate Only production hosted in the Visitation Room.  I was asked to be the Lead Speaker – the one who ties the 9 Carols together with the associated Gospel messages.  I graciously and discretely declined this opportunity, as last year’s experience was not honoring to God.  I could not be a part of something that was built on pride, ego and dysfunction behind the scenes.  After my experience from the previous year I simply could not in good conscience, align myself with the production.  Yet, I also did not want to speak negatively of the performance, as the end product truly is good and well-attended by inmates who will not normally attend any chapel sponsored events.  They are not aware of the toxic attitudes brewing behind the scenes.  I did, however, attend the concert.

Friday was pretty exciting here at the “camp”.  This was the day set aside for our gift exchange.  Under heavy security, we line up on the sidewalk to pick up our bag of Christmas Junk Food which the B.O.P. (Bureau of Prisons) hands us.  The bag has a variety of off-brand snack chips, cookies, and fun-sized sweets.  This year’s theme was Extra Spicy!!  Hot Funyons, spicy peanuts, and even a jalepeno bagel!!!  This may have been part of the plan to lure “El Chapo” out of hiding.  LOL.  Despite the jalepenos in the bagel, it was the best item in the bag.  I was able to trade other items from my bag to swap for more bagels.  I think I ended up with six of them.  They were pretty good if you heated them up in hot water and melted margarine and added some cinnamon and sugar from the kitchen to them.  It was a nice treat to have the chewy bagel.

Saturday was an interesting day.  There is a young man here from a small town near Madison, WI. (A “home-y”!!!)  The name of his home town starts with the Indian name for corn and has four syllables (can you figure out this riddle?).  He even had a short career with a company in that town that I once worked for.  I will use comic strip names for these two characters from here on out.  “Crankshaft” and the “Wizard of ID” are these two men.  The first man, Crankshaft, has become good friends with another young man here who is a former pagan who was deep into the “dark world of Wicca”.  He still bears the tattoos of the symbols of Wicca on his arms and hands.  Let’s just call him the Wizard.  I have had several conversations with the Wizard since he arrived.  He has told me of the dark ceremonies he partook of in his past and also of his amazing change of belief to follow Jesus.  Oops, I should be using the Hebrew name of Jesus for this part of the story – Yashua.  You see, the Wizard converted to Christianity but aligns himself with the Messianic Jewish community – albeit with a “twist”.  The twist is that you must always use the “proper” Hebrew names for God and Jesus.  There I go again!  I mean  Yahwey and Yashua.  Everyone has to be different, I guess.

So to continue….The Wizard has become friends with Crankshaft and is training him to teach Christians the proper way to address our God.   Crankshaft had asked me if he could have a discussion with me about this and I obliged him.  So Saturday, I met with Crankshaft and the Wizard.  It felt like I was used as an Amway training dummy.  Crankshaft was awkward and clumsy in his presentation while the Wizard was growing frustrated.  I challenged their premise respectfully, which took Crankshaft off script and he seemed to lose interest and started a conversation with someone else.  The Wizard then took over the discussion and proceeded to explain the heavy influence of paganism on our Christian belief system and therefore we must be very cautious not to allow them into our worship.  We had an engaging, intense, and yet friendly conversation for a couple of hours.  It appears that Crankshaft and the Wizard love God, but they clearly miss the point about how God has demonstrated how He redeems what is unholy and makes it holy.  He brings life out of death.  He makes the unrighteous to be righteous.  He gives us freedom from our bondage.  This is the Love our God has for us, which transcends any barriers to us, including the limitations of our human languages.

As we wrapped up our discussion, I asked the Wizard how he plans to solve the problem of our language barrier?  Does this mean that in order for us to address our God, we all must learn the original Hebrew language?  He explained that we must use the correct Hebrew names of God and Jesus, and if we don’t use the correct Hebrew names, we are in violation of the 3^rd commandment.  After hearing his response, I felt a little guilty, as I had been using the English names for our God during our conversation and they would quickly correct me with the Hebrew names complete with the guttural pronunciation.  I no longer carry that guilt because I trust the English scriptures along with hundreds of theologians over a former Wiccan with his prison theology.

To be continued….

McFreedom